


Dear Friend,

by Ray_Writes



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 03, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Online Dating, Online Relationship, mentioned Olicity, mentioned Raylicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-11-27 08:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18192125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ray_Writes/pseuds/Ray_Writes
Summary: When Felicity decides to get serious about Ray, she knows it won’t be a good idea for Oliver to be hanging around. So she turns to the world of online dating to keep him distracted.Unknown to the both of them, over the summer Joanna had set Laurel up with an online dating account in the hopes that her friend could move on from past failed relationships.There’s only one way this can end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everybody! So I realize this is about as self-indulgently trashy as a fic can get, but the idea literally hasn't let me go for over a year now. The good things is I wrote the whole thing down already over the last several months, so there won't be a long wait on updates for this story. I haven't worked out yet where all the chapter breaks are, so I can't tell you yet how long it'll be, but the whole thing is written and beta'd. Speaking of, many thanks to colorofmymind for her great beta-ing! With that out of the way, please enjoy the fic!

Not for the first time, Felicity wondered what she was going to do about Oliver.

After what had seemed an age, he had finally asked her out and they were going to give things a shot — only for him to back out thanks to a bomb going off in the restaurant. Definitely not her usual fantasy ending.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been hurt. He’d tried to tell her it wasn’t due to a lack of feelings on his part, but Felicity wasn’t really interested in what his excuse was. If he really loved her, he would want to be with her no matter what. She’d waited too long to settle for anything less.

And then things had changed.

Put off as she’d been by her new day job boss at first, Ray Palmer had quickly grown on her. Lifting her out of the secretarial pool had been a small mercy, for one thing. She would have rather stayed in her retail job than go back to that. And he was open with her about his past and the things he struggled with, more open than Oliver had been in three years. She felt like he  _ saw _ her and as more than just a last resort.

Ray was...something. A something she sort of wanted to see what it might become. But that was never going to happen with Oliver and the specter of their nonstarter relationship hanging over her. She only had to look back two years to see how he’d single-handedly dismantled Laurel’s chances with Tommy to see where that would go.

Things would be best if Oliver’s attentions were directed elsewhere, that much was clear. But she doubted she could convince him to start a relationship with someone who didn’t even know his secrets if he wasn’t willing to date her and be the Arrow at the same time.

If she could just give him the illusion of pursuit to distract himself with, that might just be enough. He wasn’t any good at hanging onto relationships anyway, so it’d probably be more fun for him to not actually be in one, merely testing the waters of one — or perhaps several, if that was what it took.

Her chances of getting him to try speed-dating were slim to none, at least not in person. But there was a much more convenient alternative she thought far more likely.

“ _ Technology saves the day again _ ,” Felicity thought to herself. Now how to put this in a way he might actually be willing to consider.

She puzzled over that for the rest of the workday and on her drive to the Verdant. When she arrived, she found herself in luck; Oliver was the only one occupying the Cave. The salmon ladder, too. She was really lucky today.

As tended to happen, Felicity’s careful planning came out in a single blurt. “So, I was thinking about your problem.”

Oliver paused on the rung he was currently hanging from and looked down. “My problem?”

“Your dating problem.”

He grimaced and dropped down onto the mat. “Felicity—”

“I know, I’m the last person you want to talk to about this. But let us consider why we are in this situation in the first place.”

Oliver said nothing, but he wasn’t running away either. Not that he had anywhere to run when this was both his base and home. Felicity took this as a sign to continue.

“You don’t feel you can be close to another person while being the Arrow. But you would also like a relationship. So I thought of a way to achieve both of those things.” She reached over to the table where Oliver had placed his phone along with his water and wallet.

“What are you doing?” He was more puzzled than angry-sounding, and he made no move to stop her as she entered his password and went to the app store.

“I am downloading an online dating app and creating an account for you.”

“Online dating?” He echoed, incredulous. Oliver made a grab for the phone, but she pulled it in towards her chest, still typing away. Felicity knew he’d never force it out of her hands even though he could. “I don’t want that.”

“But you need it. You don’t stay single long, Oliver, and there is a long line of ex-girlfriends who can attest to that.”

He didn’t have an argument to deny that, and they both knew it.

Eventually he said, “I don’t think online dating is the best way for someone like me to date, Felicity. I have a reputation that would be hard for a stranger to see past.”

“That’s why it’s anonymous.”

“Anonymous?”

She nodded. “You get a username and a little bio description, and then you match with another person based off the answers you gave to various preference questions. Then after you have a certain number of conversations, you can choose to share your picture or name or whatever.”

“What if you don’t want to?”

“Then don’t,” she said with a shrug. She had to suppress a smile as well, as that was ultimately the goal here: keep Oliver busy with possible romances for as long as possible. She could never see him settling down with one, at any rate.

“So, your username. Any ideas?”

Oliver was silent. Still a reluctant participant, then.

“Hm. Well, what about…” Felicity snapped her fingers. “King of Survival. Get it? Cause surviving is kind of your thing, and the king part is a play on your name. Can’t really use Queen. That would definitely be giving off the wrong vibe,” Felicity said, her smile fading when he didn't laugh. Not that she would’ve expected it. She typed it in and hit the box for the next page. “ _ Anyway _ , now there’s just the bio and answering some basic questions about preferences.”

She began typing out what she felt to be a fair and accurate description without getting into any incriminating detail. Oliver wandered over a little closer. He looked as though mentally he was starting and stopping several sentences.

“What sort of questions do they ask?”

“The basics. If you’re a neat freak or a slob, cats or dogs, favorite foods. You’re not big on sweets, right?”

“Actually, I — well, I don’t dislike them.”

Felicity looked up in surprise. She would never have guessed. “But you drink black coffee.”

“Sure, because it’s coffee. But I like, you know, ice cream. And Thea and I, every Christmas we used to — well, it doesn’t matter.”

Felicity was glad. She wasn’t particularly interested in Oliver’s Christmas traditions with his sister that had no doubt fallen by the wayside long ago. She held out the phone. “Maybe you should answer the questions.”

He took it and stared down at the screen. “There’s no chance you’re gonna let me just delete this thing, is there?”

“Nope.” Felicity reached out and touched his arm. “Just give it a try. For me?”

Oliver’s shoulders rose and fell with his sigh. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” she said scarcely before he’d finished. “Okay, so answer the questions, and then you should be all set up and start seeing other profiles.”

Oliver’s deep frown remained throughout as he hit the button for this or that answer. But John and then Roy soon entered the base, meaning she couldn’t really ask. Oliver was going to need privacy if she wanted him to actually try, and something told her John would say this wasn’t a good idea.

As the boys all left the Cave, however, she decided a little peek wouldn’t hurt. Just to make sure he’d finished setting up the profile. To her relief, he had, and slowly more and more matches were being brought up for him to look at.

“That’s one distracted Oliver and me in the clear,” Felicity muttered to herself, locking Oliver’s phone and setting it aside again.

So far so good.

—-

It wasn’t until the next morning that Oliver got around to looking at his phone again, much less the newly-added app. Part of him thought to just ignore it altogether, but the device had been periodically beeping with notifications. Probably as it found new supposed matches for him. This was ridiculous.

Oliver couldn’t even believe he’d agreed to this. What interest did he have in online dating? He wished he could be with Felicity, but it was just too much of a risk. Was this just her way of trying to prove a point to him? He already knew that the life he’d chosen could only be a solitary one.

But he supposed he owed it to her to give it a try. She’d gone ahead and put the app into his phone, anyway, so it was useless to argue whether or not it was happening. And it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do during the daytimes. Even he knew training for the entire day only to fight through most of the night was more of a detriment to his health in the long run than anything. And he’d promised Felicity.

Oliver opened the app and began scrolling down a list displaying accounts that had been selected according to his own preferences. They each had their own username and a short bio attached, and his eyes caught on one in particular.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman _

_ Career-driven. Closer to thirty than I’d like. Slow to get to know, but passionate about the people close to me. Really just looking for a friend. _

 

That could work. At the least, it didn’t really sound like an actual relationship would result — which he didn’t want in the first place, but he didn’t want to hurt some anonymous person’s feelings over it.

He could tell Felicity he’d tried even if it didn’t work out. At the least it wouldn’t be lying. 

And something about the bio’s frank tone intrigued him. It felt more authentic, like someone he wouldn’t mind talking to, even if it only lasted a few minutes. And there was no denying the irony of a vigilante pursuing justice.

Nothing ventured…

He hit the icon that opened up a message box and began to type.

—-

Work was not exactly going well today. She was still tired and a bit sore from her workouts at the gym, not that she was about to give those up. It was the only time she really felt alive anymore, not like at the office where she had to pretend everything was fine and that she hadn’t watched her sister’s body fall off a rooftop only a few short weeks ago.

It wasn’t that she hated her job. It just wasn’t enough anymore, not when the city was regularly on the verge of crisis the past few years and the justice system couldn’t even try keeping up. Sitting on the sidelines and watching Oliver and the others do something about it just grew more and more frustrating with each passing day.

It wasn’t as if she could have much of her own life anymore. She was lying to her father about Sara, lying to anyone not on Oliver’s team about the Arrow, and lying to herself about why she kept turning down various invites to go out or be set up with a friend of a colleague. Why not do something worthwhile with the time she wasn’t using?

A vaguely familiar sounding  _ ping _ came from her purse. Laurel dug around in it for her phone and blinked at the screen. Then she groaned.

“Speak of the devil.”

There was a notification from the dating app Joanna had made her download this past summer. It had been a while since she’d heard anything from it; truthfully Laurel had been pretty sure she’d fended off the majority of any potential suitors, which she realized was not what her friend had wanted at all.

“You need to get back out there,” Joanna had said. “Seriously, Laurel, you have gone through so much, and I don’t want to see you give up on a single part of your life. And that includes relationships.”

“Joanna, I appreciate that, I really do.” Laurel had tried for a smile, not wanting to make her friend feel bad. “But it’s not that I’m not dating because I’m still hung up on some guy.” Not the guy Joanna had probably been thinking of, anyway. “I just really don’t have the time to date around.”

“Who does anymore? That is why all the young professionals have gotten into this nifty thing called online dating.”

She’d suppressed a groan. “I think you mean old people.”

“Yeah, on eHarmony, sure. But there’s sites for busybodies hitting their thirties just like you and me.”

“I’m not sure it’s going to look that great for the ADA to be online dating,” Laurel had said, thinking it an easy-out.

“Then we’ll set you up with one of those anonymous sites,” Joanna had decided. “It’s more for the practice than anything. Just to boost your confidence so you can start dating in the real world again.”

Grudgingly, she’d handed her phone over and let Joanna search for and download an app that met the right specifications. 

“Now, you’re gonna need a username. Something kind of mysterious and sexy—”

“I’m not trying to be sexy,” she’d reminded her friend.

“--but still you,” Joanna had continued as though Laurel hadn’t spoken. She’d bitten her lip in a long few minutes of thought, and just when Laurel had begun to hope they’d been stymied before this could really begin, Joanna’s eyes had lit up. “Oh, this one’s perfect!”

Laurel had leaned over the table to watch her friend’s typing. “Justice is a woman?”

“And that woman is you. Come on, it fits.”

She’d coached Laurel through writing a little bio section that didn’t give away any real personal details and a brief questionnaire that was meant to determine her preferences. Laurel had insisted on making it clear she wasn’t really in the market for a relationship; just a friend would do.

“You realize most guys are gonna take that as code for a one-night stand, right?”

Joanna had been right, which had meant a couple solid weeks of slogging through various offers and blocking anyone who sent her an attachment on sight. With a little bit of tweaking, the messages had slowed to a trickle — though most of those were requests to join some pre-existing couple’s threesome since she’d honestly listed her openness towards talking to either men or women once Joanna hadn’t been watching.

But she’d forgotten all about it especially in the wake of Sara’s murder. Laurel unlocked her phone with the full intention to just delete the app, but her eyes caught sight of the message that had been sent.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: is the looking for a friend part of your bio for real? _

 

Something about it gave her pause. It wasn’t exactly easy to tell over the internet, but the question seemed genuine. Although she wasn’t sure what to make of that username. The likelihood was that she was reading way too much into it, however, so with that in mind she typed out a terse reply.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: is that the setup for some kind of ‘change your mind with a dick pic’ maneuver _

 

The reply was almost immediate.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: no _

_ KingOfSurvival: I just meant I could use a friend myself. I’m not really on here to see anyone or hookup or anything with pictures _

_ KingOfSurvival: do people really do that? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you wouldn’t believe how often _

 

She sat back in her chair, considering the turn this had taken. He wasn’t interested in dating her or sex, but he’d messaged her anyway. And in the middle of the workday. That didn’t exactly speak well for him, but maybe he was on his lunch break. Laurel hadn’t been planning to take one, but there wasn’t anything pressing on her desk at the moment.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: if you’re not interested in dating, what are you doing on a dating site? _

_ KingOfSurvival: couldn’t I ask you the same? _

 

“Touché,” Laurel muttered under her breath. He’d already sent a second message before she could begin typing.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: truth is a friend signed me up for this _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: same thing happened to me _

_ KingOfSurvival: that might say something about the company we both keep _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: is that why you’re looking for new friends _

 

There was a longer wait for his answer, and Laurel chewed her bottom lip, wondering if that remark had been a bit too biting.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I laughed more than I should have at that _

_ KingOfSurvival: but really, I guess my personal life is a little complicated and having someone else to talk to would be nice _

 

Complicated personal life. Well, she doubted it could be as complicated as hers. And really, what was she doing chatting with some random stranger on the internet while her whole world kept getting knocked out from under her?

But having someone else to talk to  _ would _ be nice. Someone who didn’t see her as all her past mistakes, or as just another fellow alcoholic. Wasn’t that the whole point to this anonymity?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: well, I don’t know how good I’ll be at it, but I can try to be that someone _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: but there’s no way your personal life is more complicated than mine _

_ KingOfSurvival: we’ll have to agree to disagree on that _

_ KingOfSurvival: but if you need someone to talk to, too, then this might work out for both of us _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: looks like it _

 

She happened to glance at the time at the top of her screen and gave a guilty start

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: but maybe later. Kind of need to get back to work _

_ KingOfSurvival: oh, right. My bad _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: are you unemployed or something? _

_ KingOfSurvival: or something _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: hm _

_ KingOfSurvival: don’t you need to get going? _

 

A short laugh escaped her at that, which surprised her. She actually couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed. Probably with Sara on the roof…

What was she doing? Laurel shook her head.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: fine, you get off easy for now _

 

She set her phone aside face down and resisted the urge to check when it chirped again with her new anonymous friend’s reply. She’d save it for after work. That was the responsible thing to do.

Was it wrong to feel like she had something to look forward to now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks already for the comments, everybody. I'm glad people are interested in this AU. In this chapter, we're gonna start to see how Oliver and Laurel's new online outlets might impact their real life relationships. Hope you enjoy!

_ KingOfSurvival: lucky me _

 

Oliver watched for any sort of reply, but it seemed true to her word she was letting him alone. He set his phone aside and leaned back.

What had just happened was...interesting. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it wasn’t to fall into such a quick and easy camaraderie. It hadn’t felt much like conversing with a stranger, despite them knowing almost nothing about the other. He wasn’t sure how to explain it.

Maybe he didn’t have to explain it just yet. The only person who knew he was doing this was Felicity, and unless she asked he wasn’t going to volunteer details. If anything, that things had gone well was the last thing he wanted her to know. Just because he’d possibly gained a new friend did not mean he was ready to let go of his feelings for Felicity, contrary to her arguments.

He moved into his typical workout regimen to clear his head for a little while, then took a late lunch. Since he had some time, he worked in a little target practice after that.

Roy was the first down to the base today, which was good. Oliver had wanted to get some extra training in with him before they suited up, as he’d noticed Roy had seemed a little distracted in the field lately.

But there were no complaints from the younger man; he was quick to get ready and move through some basic warm ups before they began.

The  _ ping _ of the online dating app interrupted their sparring session about a half hour in. Oliver hadn’t even realized he’d been listening for it.

Roy looked around in confusion. “Was that a phone?”

“Yeah, it’s mine. Just give me a second.” He retrieved it from where he’d set it aside. Sure enough, the anonymous woman he’d reached out to was back.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: did you write your own bio _

 

Oliver paused. He hadn’t even really thought of that since Felicity had been the one to set most of his account up.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: no, why? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I can definitely see why you want more friends _

 

He was almost scared to check what had been written. She saved him the trouble.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: “approaching the age for a mid-life crisis” “commitment issues” _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: your friend did say you have “a heart of gold underneath it all” _

 

He groaned.

“What’s the matter?” Asked Roy, and Oliver spun around with a start. He’d almost forgotten he wasn’t alone.

“Uh, nothing. Just an...email. From the bank.” He walked a little ways further from the mats.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I should have probably checked that sooner _

_ KingOfSurvival: we had a recent breakup and it may or may not be informing her opinion of me _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you broke up and she set you up with an online dating account? _

_ KingOfSurvival: I don’t understand it any better than you _

_ KingOfSurvival: in fairness, we only had one date. She’s more a friend than an ex. I don’t know if that seems weird _

 

It wasn’t as though he and this woman were trying to date, but it occurred to him that talking about previous relationships was probably bad form regardless.

She answered before he could start to apologize.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: no, I’ve got one of those _

_ KingOfSurvival: oh, ok _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: though mine wouldn’t set me up with an online dating account _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: probably decide I was too fragile for that sort of thing _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m sensing there’s a story there _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you’d be right, but it’s probably not one you’d want to hear _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: at least not the very first day _

_ KingOfSurvival: well, I’m glad you made it onto this app anyway _

 

He found himself a little curious, clicking on her profile again and reading back through the bio. There were a couple other stats as well. True to the paragraph she’d written, she’d placed herself in the 25-30 age bracket. On her preferences for the gender of her matches, she’d stated there were none.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: just a question - you don’t have to answer _

_ KingOfSurvival: but for your preferences, you didn’t say you had any. Is that just because you’re looking for friendship or…? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: it’s because I have no preferences _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: is that a problem? _

_ KingOfSurvival: no _

_ KingOfSurvival: I guess I just want to know more about you, but the profiles don’t give much _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: Yeah, kind of the idea of this whole anonymous thing _

 

He had the distinct impression she was teasing him. Oliver tried to picture a voice to the words; a bit dry, maybe with a hint of a smirk playing at her lips.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: right _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: what about you? What’s your preference? _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’ve only ever dated women _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: And I’ve only dated guys. Doesn’t mean you can’t know yourself _

 

She had him at that. Definitely not anything he’d ever thought about.

The door at the top of the steps opened, and Roy called out a greeting to John. Oliver wasn’t too keen on letting him see him on an unfamiliar app, so he typed a quick message.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: gotta go _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: running away from self-discovery? _

_ KingOfSurvival: more like to my sort-of-employment _

 

He hit the home key to minimize the app and locked his phone, tucking it away in his pocket. Then he walked back over to rejoin his two friends.

“He’s got some problems with his bank or something,” Roy was saying.

John looked to him. “What kind of problems?”

“It’s not that serious,” Oliver tried to dismiss, not really wanting to have to come up with something believable on the spot.

“You were on the phone for a while,” Roy pointed out.

“I was just working on how to say what I needed to.”

The others fortunately let it drop, but it was an early lesson he’d needed to learn. Oliver would have to watch himself when it came to contacting his online friend. He couldn’t afford to get too distracted if he wanted this to remain as much of a secret as it could get.

—-

Joanna waved her arm as she spotted Laurel entering the small cafe. It had a small selection of sandwiches and salad, but it was a fair distance between both their offices, which made it the ideal place to meet up like this.

Her friend made her way over, and Joanna stood to accept a strong hug. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Laurel was smiling, which was a good sign. She’d begged off their meetup last month saying she was swamped — which Joanna had known meant something more than work was happening. She hadn’t wanted to push, and she was glad she’d held back for now as Laurel seemed to be doing okay.

Though as they pulled apart, she couldn’t help noting, “Have you been lifting weights? Your arms are toned!”

“I started going to a gym,” Laurel answered, a grin on her lips. “Thanks for noticing.”

“It’d be hard not to.”

They both sat down. “How’ve you been?” Laurel asked.

“About the same. Busy a lot, but it pays the bills.” She paused to look over the little laminated menu at their table. “My mom’s thinking about downsizing, so I might pull some overtime to save up some money for her moving out.”

“Is she staying in the city?”

“She might go out a little to the suburbs. Nowhere too far away.”

Joanna made up her mind on her order and passed the menu to Laurel. Shortly after, they were approached by a server who took down their choices.

“So what’s new with you?”

“Oh,” Laurel looked like she didn’t know what to say for a moment. “Just, you know, working out more. Um, actually I started talking to this guy on that app.”

Of all the things she’d expected to hear, this was not it. Joanna leaned forward in her seat. “Really? How’s it going?”

“It’s...better than I expected.” The strangest sort of expression was playing around the corners of her friend’s mouth, like she wasn’t sure whether to smile or not.

“We’re not dating or anything,” Laurel was quick to add. “We just...talk. And it’s nice. I mean, he’s funny — a bit goofy at times, really — and we listen to each other’s problems. I mean, we don’t go into too many details, but it helps. I think if I knew him in real life, we’d be really good friends.”

“And you thought I was crazy signing you up for that thing.”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, Joanna de la Vega knows all once again.”

Joanna didn’t bother to hide a smug smile. “You’re welcome.”

Their food arrived, and they both fell quiet as they dug in to their meals. As she ate, though, something kept bothering her.

“Laurel, when you say you talk about your problems, is there something going on? Anything you need help with?”

Her friend stared down at her plate. “No, Joanna. I appreciate it, but it’s fine.” She looked up then, and the smile she wore didn’t look forced, but it also didn’t look happy. “I’m handling it, I promise.”

“I just want you to know I’m here for you this time.”

“Well, thank you. But don’t worry. I can promise I’m not in any kind of trouble.”

She dropped it for now. Laurel had admitted she was talking to someone at least, even if they were anonymous. And speaking of…

“So, what do you know about this online guy? Has he given anything away?”

“You know, my father’s the detective. Not me.”

“That’s never stopped you.”

Laurel shared her smirk for a moment before taking some time to think. “He’s about my age. I think he works the night shift somewhere because he always messages me around lunch or early evening, and it takes a while for him to get back to me if I message him later than that. He’s had at least one failed relationship, and it was also not his idea to sign up for this thing which is why it’s worked out that we’re friends.”

“Hm, interesting. Think he works at a hospital? Or a gas station?”

Laurel shook her head, though she was grinning. “Shut up.”

“I’m picturing some beefcake unloading crates down by the docks,” Joanna said before caving to a fit of giggles. Laurel joined in.

They talked about a couple other things, and then it was back to their respective offices. The whole walk back, Joanna couldn’t help congratulating herself for pushing Laurel to get that app.

It felt good to laugh with her friend again.

—-

_ JusticeIsAWoman: staying friends with my ex was a bad choice _

 

Oliver blinked at the message that had apparently been sent a few hours ago. He’d been out in the field at the time, trying to track down Isaac Stanzler to clear Ted Grant’s name. But now that he had a moment — not of calm, not when Roy now knew the truth of what he’d done while under the Mirakuru — he hoped he wasn’t too late in answering what was obviously a request to vent.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: hey, just saw this _

_ KingOfSurvival: sorry about that. Sounds rough _

 

It took a couple minutes to hear back from her.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: thanks _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: it’s fine, really. I was probably just being a little overdramatic _

_ KingOfSurvival: everything’s ok now? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: sort of _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I mean, I know he’s probably still upset but putting a nice face on things. And I’m still frustrated but it honestly just gets too exhausting to fight with him after a while. Not when I don’t actually want to _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I just wish he’d decide if he hates me or not, because the back and forth is enough to drive a person crazy _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: sorry, I’ll stop talking about it _

_ KingOfSurvival: no, that’s ok. It’s why I’m here _

_ KingOfSurvival: and really, I know what it’s like having an ex-friend _

 

Oliver paused and stared down at the words. Sure, things were tense with Laurel right now, but he still considered her a friend.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: wait that didn’t make sense _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: try it the other way round _

_ KingOfSurvival: not sure that’s a phrase, but sure. A friend-ex. I’ve been in a sort of fight with mine for the last couple weeks _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: wanna talk about it? _

_ KingOfSurvival: pretty sure we were talking about your problems _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I already have the solution to my problems _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: ice cream _

 

He chuckled at that.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: sounds nice _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah. So what about you? What are you and your friend-ex in a fight about? _

 

That was a tough one. How did he go about this without outing himself as the Arrow or implicating Laurel in vigilante activities?

 

_ KingOfSurvival: she sort of wants to switch jobs, and the new one has a lot of downsides _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: like what? _

_ KingOfSurvival: late hours, safety concerns _

_ KingOfSurvival: she’s not really in a good place right now, and I feel like she’s making a rash decision just for the sake of doing something different. She asked me to help get her foot in the door and I said no _

_ KingOfSurvival: so now she’s mad at me, and I know she has a right to be mad if that’s how she feels, but I wish she’d see I wasn’t doing it because I don’t want her to succeed or anything like that _

_ KingOfSurvival: I just don’t want her going out there and getting hurt _

 

There was a bit of a pause. He wondered if anything he’d written made sense out of context.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: word of advice — most women don’t like it when you assume you know what they’re thinking _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: or when you make choices for them based on what you think is best _

 

Oliver sighed. He probably should’ve expected that.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: have you talked to her about why you’re nervous? _

_ KingOfSurvival: a little _

_ KingOfSurvival: look, it’s not that I don’t think she can handle herself, I just care about her too much to see her throw her life away on a dead-end job like I did _

 

He’d hit send before the furious speed of his typing could catch up with him, and seeing the words in print like that struck at something inside him.

One of these nights, his luck would run out, and he was going to die just like Sara. But he’d rather die than see that happen to Laurel first.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: is that something you’ve told her? _

_ KingOfSurvival: no _

_ KingOfSurvival: but maybe I should _

 

Oliver looked at his watch. It wasn’t too late as to be outrageous for a visit. And he didn’t want to hold onto this thought by himself any longer.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: would it be ok if I left you to your ice cream for a while? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: that’s fine. Didn’t really have other plans _

_ KingOfSurvival: thank you. I promise we’ll get back to your thing _

 

Oliver left the base. He took an extra bit of inspiration from his online friend and stopped by the store on his way to Laurel’s apartment. She was never one to say no to ice cream, after all. He even remembered her preference this time.

Once he arrived, Oliver hesitated a moment in front of the door. Should he really do this? They’d only barely patched things tonight as it was. But if he didn’t say it now, he probably never would. So he raised his fist and knocked.

Laurel didn’t immediately answer. He wondered if perhaps she’d called it a night already, but eventually he heard the lock being undone and then she was standing there in her pajamas.

He lifted his peace offering into her line of sight before she could speak, and Oliver watched her blink in surprise at it.

“Oh. That’s funny.”

“What is?”

She gave a shake of the head. “Nothing. Come in.”

He followed her as far as the sitting room and waited as she continued to the kitchen for bowls and spoons.

“What’s this about?” She asked as she cleared the archway back into view.

“We’ve got to talk about a couple things, and I thought it’d be easier with ice cream.”

“Everything is,” she agreed, helping herself to a small portion before falling back onto her couch cushions. Oliver filled his own bowl and sat across from her in one of the chairs. They ate in a silence that wasn’t exactly easy, but neither was it uncomfortable.

Laurel waited until he’d set aside his bowl before asking, “So, first thing’s first?”

“Roy was wrong. He didn’t kill Sara.”

Laurel’s shoulders relaxed as she let out a breath. “Then why did he…?”

“When he was under the Mirakuru, he lost control and killed a police officer,” Oliver admitted. “I never told him because I knew the guilt — well, I guess it ate away at his subconscious until he convinced himself he  _ had _ done something wrong.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

“It might take some time. But I hope so.” Ironically, this had been the easy part. He drew in a breath and squared his shoulders. “Your training.”

Laurel leaned back and crossed her arms. “I’m not quitting.”

“I didn’t think you were. But I — if you’d just let me say this.” 

She waited, silent and expectant.

“This mission, it’s not something I wish I had to do any more than Sara wished to stay with the League. If either of us could have taken back what those years away did to us, the things we had to learn just to survive, we would. Sara hated the person she became, and I…” He wasn’t sure he wanted to finish that thought, not aloud. Laurel was watching him with such open compassion. He hunched forward slightly, fixing his gaze on her coffee table and the remnants of rocky road that were beginning to congeal in their bowls. “I don’t really see a way out of this for me that doesn’t involve the same end she met. And I don’t see how to avoid it, or why I even deserve to.”

“But that isn’t what I see,” she stated, and he found himself looking up at her. “And it’s not what a lot of people out there see. Oliver, they see a hero. They see someone who’s willing to risk it all to do some good. And maybe that’s not fair to expect of you, but that is exactly why so many people want to help you. Diggle and Felicity and Roy,” she listed off. Then Laurel threw one hand up in the air in frustration. “You’ll take Roy out into the field with you because he made that choice. What is so wrong about me wanting to make the same choice?”

“Because you found a way to help people and do good for the city all on your own. One that doesn’t involve risking your life. And you’ve been doing it before I ever got on the  _ Gambit _ ,” he reminded her. “Why is that not enough anymore?”

“Because  _ you _ proved it,” she said, and Oliver drew back. He wasn’t sure whether she wanted to laugh or scream at him, but she was agitated enough to get up and start pacing in front of her coffee table. “This city was falling apart before you came back. And if you hadn’t, we would have lost the entirety of the Glades to Malcolm Merlyn, and his plan would’ve worked. Not that I’d be here to see it,” Laurel added with a finger raised in the air. “The cops and the DA’s office haven’t been enough to fight the corruption or to protect the people who need it most. That’s the whole reason you do what you do!”

She stopped in front of him.

“Sara’s killer is never going to be brought into a courtroom. They will never face justice from the law, just like so many others. And knowing all that, you expect me to just...sit there?”

He didn’t have an argument for that. She was right.

But there was one last thing he could try. “Maybe the Arrow was necessary for the city. But Laurel, I would never ask you to share that kind of burden.”

“You asked Roy.”

“Roy needed something to believe in. Structure. He was spiraling out of control with no way to focus his anger. But if he’d never been injected with the Mirakuru, I might never have brought him in on this,” he confessed. “This mission, it  _ consumes _ you. I don’t have a job or a relationship. I don’t talk to anyone who doesn’t already know the truth — I’m living in the same loft as my sister, but we barely exchange more than a few words with each other because I have  _ nothing _ I can tell her. Because I have no life of my own, just the secrets.”

Laurel slowly took a spot on the couch next to him. He appreciated that; it felt less like he was being looked down on with pity.

“I’m not about to just quit my job. I love being a lawyer, and I fought hard to get back to that last year,” she reminded him. “It’s all about balance. Roy works at the club, Felicity has Palmer Tech, John is seeing Lyla and raising a daughter, all while the mission is still important to them. Those are things you can have, too. Maybe not all of them all of the time, but you are not required to give up your own life for this city.”

Oliver wanted to say that he had tried; running the company last year, seeing Felicity. But he just couldn’t make it work the way the others did. With him, it was all or nothing. He didn’t know a better way.

“That drive, that determination, it’s what people — people are inspired by that. But maybe the reason you’re so unsatisfied with the mission is because you’re so focused on the criminals and the things they’re doing to the city that you’re not seeing the good,” Laurel said. “Crime is still at an all-time low. You can run through a park and not worry about a mugging. Drug use is down in minors and young adults. The Verdant is only the first of a growing number of clubs that has declared itself drug-free — excepting alcohol,” she added wryly.

“Wouldn’t be very good for business,” he said.

“Why not take a night off and spend it upstairs with your sister instead of the basement? See people.”

She made it sound easy. Laurel always did, and maybe that was his problem. He was so sure she would fail because he’d failed, but that was never what Laurel did. A failure was only a setback to her.

“Anytime between 11:30 and 2:00 is a good time for me to take my lunch, if you call ahead.”

Oliver looked over at her, thrown by this random statement. Laurel stared right back, utterly calm.

“We need to get you out of that cave more.”

“It’s not a cave,” Oliver replied automatically.

“Does it really matter?”

He opened his mouth to argue but found he had little to say.

Oliver knew she had a point. Not about the name of the base. But he needed more than the team to ground him and an anonymous person to share his thoughts with. He needed something real, something he didn’t have to hide. He just didn’t know if he deserved that anymore.

It was getting late, and they both knew it. Laurel showed him to the door, but before he could get two steps down the hall, she was calling out to him. “Ollie.”

He turned back.

“Tell Thea I said hi.”

Oliver felt the corner of his mouth lift in a smile. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

He’d really forgotten just how much better he could feel after spending time with Laurel and how much he’d missed it. Lord knew it was almost entirely his fault they’d had such a strained relationship the last few years, but maybe that could change. They’d both lost so much, and if Laurel was willing to still have him in her life, then Oliver realized it was up to him to be the best friend possible. She deserved that and far more.

He thought about telling his online friend of his success but decided to let her have her own ice cream night to herself. They could always talk tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, another update for another week. I think with the chapter breaks I have in mind right now this story is looking to be somewhere around 10 chapters, give or take. At any rate, I hope you enjoy this installment.

Laurel woke up the next morning still wondering what the hell had just happened.

She’d resigned herself to sort of skirting around the edges of Oliver’s life, avoiding arguments through less contact. It wasn’t what she wanted, but maybe it was what they needed.

And then he’d shown up at her door with ice cream. Which was inconvenient, considering she’d just finished off her own large bowl.  But she hadn’t wanted to admit to that, so she’d taken a small amount and dug in. She’d just have to hit her training a bit harder than usual today to make it up to herself.

None of that was what had her so thrown. It was more to do with what Oliver had said.

She’d known for a while now that he struggled sometimes to see his way through or whether what he did had any impact. That was part of why she’d invited him to come see her father’s speech announcing the disbandment of the vigilante task force; he needed some kind of positive reinforcement.

But Laurel hadn’t had any idea the kind of toll Sara’s death had taken on him. She’d been so important to both of them, of course, but to hear Oliver say he’d taken it as some sort of sign of his own grim end frightened her. It made her think how close they’d come to losing him last year when he’d nearly turned himself over to Slade Wilson. It made her think of her own worries that had kept her up at night from time to time ever since she’d learned the truth about his identity.

And it left her more determined than ever to get involved. Oliver needed help, some kind of support he wasn’t getting. Laurel didn’t know if she was the one who could provide it, but it had never stopped her from trying.

He’d opened up to her. That was enough to convince her their friendship was still worth striving for.

Her phone pinged on her nightstand in the tone of her dating app; unusual for this early. She sat up and leaned over to take a look.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: good morning _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: is it? _

 

Something must have happened if he hadn’t been able to wait till his usual hours to text her.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: well, for me. I wanted to thank you for listening last night. I think getting my thoughts out helped me to better explain myself and then be ready to listen, too _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: so you patched things up with your friend-ex? _

_ KingOfSurvival: I think so _

_ KingOfSurvival: it’s definitely better than it was _

 

Well, looked like he’d been able to pull off his own reconciliation. That had to say something for her talent in mending fences, didn’t it?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I’m glad to hear it _

_ KingOfSurvival: Yeah _

_ KingOfSurvival: it feels like this weight’s been lifted off my chest _

_ KingOfSurvival: we’ve been friends for so long, and I didn’t want to lose that _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: she must mean a lot to you _

_ KingOfSurvival: she does _

 

Now there was a thought. If she’d helped him so thoroughly with his problem, did he even need her anymore?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: do you think you’ll give dating another shot? _

_ KingOfSurvival: What? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: well you only tried the one date. If you were able to patch things up, it might not be a bad idea to give it a second chance _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I won’t feel bad if you leave me behind for the real world, promise _

 

He was already typing before she’d sent her last message.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: no, no, this was a different friend-ex. She wasn’t the one who signed me up for this app _

 

Laurel felt her eyebrow raise.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: two friend-exs? I’m not sure if that says good or bad things about you _

_ KingOfSurvival: me neither _

_ KingOfSurvival: But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere _

 

It was probably wrong to feel relief. But in the short while they’d been talking to each other, he’d kind of made himself a fixture in her life. It should worry her, that she’d let a total stranger get that close to her in so little time. But then, if she wasn’t so lonely she wouldn’t be chatting with strangers in the first place. And this one didn’t feel so much like a stranger. For whatever reason, her mind had just accepted him like an old friend.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: anyway, I promised we’d talk about your friend-ex problem _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: oh, I think we’ve steered our way out of it _

_ KingOfSurvival: Yeah? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: Yeah. It’s not even the worst fight we’ve had. And he’s decided to be much more reasonable all of a sudden _

_ KingOfSurvival: must be your good influence _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: ha _

 

Laurel took the phone with her as she left her bed, heading down the hall to her kitchen.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: But I should let you get back to sleep _

_ KingOfSurvival: how did you know I should be sleeping? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: based on the times you text, plus you mentioned your job having late hours last night _

_ KingOfSurvival: oh right. You a detective or something? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: get some sleep, sounds like you need it _

_ KingOfSurvival: alright, have a good day _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you too _

 

She set her phone on the counter as she set about fixing herself some breakfast, which wasn’t much more than pouring cereal in a bowl — the milk smelled off, so she went without. Laurel made a note to get some the next time she went shopping, whenever that was. Her hours at the DA’s office were pretty incompatible with the grocery stores.

Laurel scooped her phone up on the way to her little table. So he thought she came across as a detective, did he? Him and everyone else. Being raised by one was near enough, she guessed.

The smirk Laurel wore slowly faded as she sat there, spoon in one hand and phone in the other.

There was one thing Oliver had said the previous night that she couldn’t seem to stop thinking about:  _ “I’m living in the same loft as my sister, but we barely exchange more than a few words with each other because I have nothing I can tell her. Because I have no life of my own, just the secrets.” _

Didn’t that describe exactly her relationship with her father ever since Sara had been killed?

She’d been so sure about not telling him when it happened. He’d only just been in the hospital, and his doctors all cautioned against any form of stress. Telling him the truth would only make his condition worse.

But every time she saw him now, it was harder and harder to maintain the illusion that everything was fine. He could tell something was wrong, even if he didn’t know what.

And deep down, she knew she couldn’t hide this forever. Would it just make it worse the longer she let it go on?

Laurel thought for a moment about taking her online friend up on that offer for advice, but how would she even begin to explain that sort of situation? How did her life make sense to the average person anymore?

This was her secret, her mistake, and she had to fix it. Laurel knew there was no easy or magic solution to it, either. Nothing about Sara’s death was.

She kept thinking about it and thinking about it until his next day off. A small, terrified part of her tried to convince herself to put it off for yet another day, not to ruin it for him. But she knew in her heart it was better than ambushing him at his office.

Laurel walked, since her car had been wrecked by the crash with Stanzler, and the whole way she tried to think of the right way to break the news. Every attempt she ended up mentally discarding. There was no right way. Not for news like this.

Laurel knocked on her father’s door and waited. Eventually she heard the slide of the deadbolt and the lock being undone before the door opened. “Honey?”

“Hi, dad.”

His smile was bemused more than anything. “What brings you round here?”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about. Something I should have talked to you about sooner,” she admitted, eyes downcast. “Is it okay if I come in?”

“Course, yeah.” He showed her through, shutting the door and following her to the sitting room. Laurel stopped in front of the couch but stayed standing. “Everything okay, honey?”

“It’s not me,” she said. “You know how Nyssa was in town a couple weeks ago?”

He nodded, still looking unsure. “Yeah.”

“She was here on League business. Because- because Sara was sent on a mission here last month.”

“Sara? But I never saw her.” Her dad fidgeted, already anxious. “She’s not trying to hide out from them again, is she?”

God, she wished that was it. Laurel shook her head. “No, she’s- she’s not.” She had to take a minute, closing her eyes to fight back the tears that already threatened. It was amazing she had any left.

“I saw her when she came into the city,” she confessed. “We met on a roof, and she was doing okay. Not- not happy about the League, you know, but she was…”

“Laurel, what are you trying to say?”

“I left and started walking home, but Sara- she — someone else came to the roof after me. I didn’t see them. All I saw was — Sara was shot.”

He was staring at her in total shock.

Laurel swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Three times. She fell off the roof and I- I went to her, dad, but she was already—”

“No—”

“Dead. I’m sorry. Daddy, I’m so sorry.” She pressed her hands together like a prayer as her eyes watered and spilled over.

Her father’s legs trembled and gave out. He sat down hard on his couch.

“Not- not my baby,” he choked out. “Not again.”

Laurel stepped forward and knelt on the edge of the couch as she wrapped her arms around him. Her father placed a hand on her arm and leaned his head on her shoulder. She didn’t know how long they cried together.

Eventually, he lifted his head and looked at her.

“Where...where is she?”

She had to swallow again, and her voice was still shaky as she answered, “We buried her in her old grave.”

“We?”

“I had to ask the Arrow for help,” Laurel admitted as she sat back.

“The Arrow,” her father echoed. “He’s known this whole time? And he didn’t say anything?”

“Because I asked him not to,” she said before the frown could set on his face. Instead it was a stunned, injured look he fixed her with. “I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell you, and with your health—”

“I decide what I can take, Laurel,” he said, though his voice was distressingly hoarse.

“I know. I know, dad, but you were just in the hospital. I didn’t know how to—”

“A month. She’s been dead for a month, and you kept this from me.”

Laurel stood from the couch, retreating. He hadn’t raised his voice yet, but she could sense the shift in his mood. “I’m sorry. I know it was wrong.”

“Wrong?” A nasty smile like a snarl marred his lips. “Wrong doesn’t cover it. I- I need you to go. I need to be alone.”

“Dad, please. Please don’t—”

“ _ Alone _ , Laurel.” His hand gestured vaguely to the door. He kept his head down, refusing to look at her.

Laurel’s lips pressed together and she nodded, turning and leaving. She stopped on his front stoop and looked back. The sound of his sobs could still be heard through the door. Laurel closed her eyes and bowed her head.

She should have made some excuse to check his cabinets first, made sure there wasn’t anything in there. What if he drank himself to death over this? What had she done?

If there was one thing she knew, she couldn’t let him go to the bar. She’d already lost Sara, and her sister would never want to be the reason their father lost himself twice.

Laurel looked around. She had no car and was not welcome inside. About the only place left for her was right here. So Laurel drew in a breath and sat down on the stoop, her back to the door.

Night was already falling and the air was chilly, but she stayed where she was. A dim part of her knew it was probably crazy, that her father would be even more upset if he found her out here. But she couldn’t leave him like this. He wouldn’t leave her if their places were switched.

She took out her phone for something to do and her thumb almost automatically landed on the icon for her dating app. Well, if she ever needed a friend, now was that time.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: have you ever thought twice about telling somebody the truth? _

 

She had to wait a while to hear anything. Probably wasn’t in the mood for deep questions.

But eventually her phone chirped. Laurel glanced over her shoulder at her father’s door and switched the device over to silent.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: that might be the story of my life, why? _

_ KingOfSurvival: are you ok? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: mostly _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I’ve been putting off giving my dad some really bad news, and I finally told him _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: now he probably hates me for it _

_ KingOfSurvival: that does not sound fun _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you have no idea _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m sorry. I’m sure he’ll forgive you _

 

Laurel wondered if he’d think that if he knew what the news was. But she’d already resolved not to bring that into their conversations. She had AA to process her grief with other people; she didn’t want whatever this was to become all about that.

She wasn’t sure if it made her an awful person or not, but to have somebody in her life to talk to who wasn’t treating her with kid gloves constantly...it made it easier to believe life could go on even without Sara.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: your day going any better? _

_ KingOfSurvival: I figured out why my friend-ex set me up with this app _

_ KingOfSurvival: the more recent one, I mean _

_ KingOfSurvival: she’s seeing another guy _

 

Laurel winced.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I’m sorry. That’s never easy _

_ KingOfSurvival: Yeah _

_ KingOfSurvival: any chance you have some advice on that situation? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: afraid my dating skills are slim to none if you haven’t noticed _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: what are you doing now? _

_ KingOfSurvival: a friend invited me to dinner with his wife. I’m heading over there with another friend of ours _

_ KingOfSurvival: just didn’t feel like being alone _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I can understand that _

 

There was a brief pause. She’d nearly tucked her phone away again when he replied.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m just a text away if you need someone _

 

Laurel didn’t think she was smiling, but she felt a little better at least.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: thanks _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I guess I just wonder if I did the right thing _

_ KingOfSurvival: in my experience, telling the truth is hard but it’s better than the lies _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah _

 

It went dark behind her all of a sudden. Her father was turning off the lights. She allowed herself a sigh of relief knowing that he was simply choosing to turn in. Not that she believed he was in the clear yet. He’d only barely gotten sober last year. But Laurel would be there as much as he’d allow her to be.

She wiped at her eyes that felt heavy with the tears she’d cried and waited another hour and a half, just to be sure. Her online friend had gone quiet, and she hoped he was having a good time with his real friends.

Laurel stood on slightly stiff legs and began the walk home. Ted had closed the gym for a few days for some time off in the wake of Stanzler’s murder, so she had no other plans.

A couple men were loitering outside one of the bars she passed on her way. Laurel considered crossing the street to avoid them, but in the end she decided not to give them the satisfaction.

“Hey, gorgeous,” one called out to her with leer. She ignored him.

“Hey.” His friend stepped forward, grabbing her arm. “You’re supposed to—”

Laurel didn’t wait to hear the rest. She took hold of his wrist and turned sharply, twisting it until he gave a howl and staggered back. Then she fished her ADA’s badge out of her purse.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Neither of them probably knew what it really was, but they knew it meant something official. They shuffled backwards with their heads down, and she watched them till they were a safe distance away before turning and continuing her walk, though now it was closer to the pace of a march.

Maybe it wasn’t a workout, but it left her exhilarated all the same. On a whim and wanting someone to know something of her success, she took out her phone again.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: think my night just got a lot better _

—-

Barry was seriously regretting the whole ‘train with Oliver’ thing. Those arrows  _ hurt _ . As it was, he was looking for just about any and all distractions.

One was finally granted to him in the sound of a phone. His mentor of today had insisted they set any devices aside to avoid getting sidetracked, but seeing as Oliver had immediately looked to the side upon hearing it, Barry thought he could get away with a break.

“I’ll get it,” he offered, jerking his thumb towards the building.

“Barry—”

He picked it up and was standing next to Oliver and holding it out in the next second. But that short time was more than enough for his eyes to catch the name attached to the message. Or the lack of name, rather.

Oliver glanced over it, but his eyes lifted and fixed on Barry. “What?”

“Um, nothing,” Barry replied immediately. But the curiosity was eating at him. “Sorry, just — are you on message boards?”

Oliver’s face scrunched up. “No.”

“Then who’s Justice Is A Woman?”

“Not really your business, Barry,” said Oliver, in a tone that very much implied he should drop it if he didn’t want to get shot.

But the wheels were turning now. That hadn’t been a text message; it had come from some sort of app. An app that encouraged usernames and not a person’s real name. Combined with the dull red flush he could see creeping up Oliver’s neck and into his cheeks...

The realization hit him like lightning— which Barry felt he was qualified to know how that felt. “Oh wow. You do online dating?”

The redness in Oliver’s face was spreading. “No. I — she’s just a friend.”

“ _ Right _ ,” said Barry, drawing it out for an extra beat or two. Internally, he was kind of freaking out. Oliver was online dating. Was this new? Did anybody else know? Or had he just stumbled across the greatest secret of their time?

Oliver tucked his phone into his back pocket, brow furrowing. “Let’s get back to training.”

His phone pinging again kind of ruined the effect.

“You know what? I’m gonna head back to STAR Labs. See if they got a lead on this meta yet.” He took off running before Oliver could object. Or shoot.

There was a lot Barry needed to wrap his head around. Training hadn’t gone like he expected or wanted, and he was frustrated by the amount of criticism his vigilante counterpart had heaped on his techniques. But he was also a bit smug, knowing this embarrassing detail about the other man, even if he was having trouble believing it himself. It was a hard concept to grasp, billionaire playboy Oliver Queen resorting to an online service to meet people just like the rest of them.

It was that mix of resentment and cockiness that got Barry into trouble with Bivolo, and once he’d been cured he felt awful for the things he’d said and done to the others. Eddie hadn’t deserved to bear the brunt of his anger for having the courage to take a chance with Iris, and all it had done was turn Iris away from the Flash. Not that he could blame her when he couldn’t even begin to try and explain what had really happened.

There’d been other rash actions he’d taken as well, and he apologized in turn to both Caitlin and Joe. Oliver, he saved for last and just caught him as Team Arrow was making a stop at Jitters before heading out of Central.

Barry knew he should feel lucky Oliver seemed to hold no ill will for the fight and the pain he couldn’t heal from nearly as easily as Barry, but of course his friend had to give him one last bit of advice, this time concerning his love life or lack thereof.

“That’s not going to work out for you. You need to let her go, for both of your sakes.” Oliver didn’t even bother to follow Barry’s gaze as it landed on Iris, smiling and laughing with Felicity. “Guys like us don’t get the girl.”

“Is that an endorsement for online dating?” Barry asked before he could help himself. Oliver pulled a face, and he added, “Sorry, sorry.”

“Nope, I should have expected some pushback.” His friend folded his arms across his chest. “And I would say that having an account like that...can have its benefits. Being able to talk to someone else when there’s things you can’t say to your team is a help. Whatever method you find works best, Barry. And I think we all know you shouldn’t be keeping things bottled up.”

Barry grimaced. “Yeah, guess not.”

Felicity headed back over with the coffees, and the Arrow team departed.

He didn’t really know what to make of what was going on in Starling. Felicity had seemed in much better spirits this trip despite still obviously not dating Oliver, and Oliver was resorting to anonymous online dating as opposed to just walking up to anyone he chose and introducing himself. And apparently he used the site to just...vent?

Barry wondered if venting really was that necessary of a vigilante process. Sure, he had his own frustrations, but there was Joe or Cisco and Caitlin or even Dr. Wells for those various situations. He hadn’t come up against anything yet that required him to go to a total stranger. Oliver had to have it pretty bad if that was the case for him.

And he could tell  _ no one. _ Barry had a feeling there’d be worse waiting for him than arrows if he let this slip.

“Bear, you want your usual?” Iris’ voice and the hand she laid on his arm had him jolting back out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh, yeah, if it’s no problem. Thanks, Iris.”

“You’re not a problem.” She walked away with a shake of the head and a brilliant smile. At least Iris only hated the Flash and not him. Barry wasn’t a problem in her eyes.

Okay, so maybe he had been doing some anonymous venting of his own. He hoped Oliver’s setup worked out better for him than what he’d once had with Iris.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter this time, but I thought the mid-season transition deserved its own spot. Next week's should definitely be longer. Also, I am maybe considering restructuring some of the end, so the fic might not be as complete as I initially thought. Apologies, and thanks for sticking through so far!

Oliver didn’t know what to do.

That was a lie. He knew what he had to do, but once he started down this path...there was a chance this was a trip he would not return from, not even in five years.

But Malcolm had him cornered. If he did nothing, it was Thea in danger, and he could never let that happen. He told as much to Felicity. It was all the comfort he could give her.

While her relationship with Ray still hurt, he could look at it with a clearer head, now. She was happy and deserved to be. A relationship between the two of them wouldn’t have ended anywhere good, especially now that he knew about the trap that had been drawing in all around him. So he left her behind in the base without any sort of declaration. That door had closed.

He’d seen nearly all of his loved ones at least once. All except Laurel. That was wrong, but he knew she would see right through any excuse he made for his leaving the city. And the truth was too painful. She cared so much for Thea. Maybe once he came home, once they were all safe from the League.

Oliver knew he had one friend who would tell him it was wrong to withhold this from Laurel whatever his reason. He took out his phone and opened the app.

It still displayed a message from her the last time they’d talked.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: gotta go see my dad about something. Wish me luck _

 

He wished he had. He wished he knew more about her. That they hadn’t met on an online app and instead bumped into each other at a coffee shop they were both regulars at, and maybe he’d noticed her before and had just been looking for the chance to introduce himself. He wished he could have that kind of life. He wished it could be simpler.

Even if they’d never truly met, Oliver couldn’t help feeling he owed her a goodbye as well. Of some kind.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: Hey, I’m gonna be kinda busy around the holidays so if you don’t hear from me, Merry Christmas _

 

His thumb hovered over the send button as he looked at it. That made it sound like something was going to happen to him or that he knew it was. He didn’t want to worry her.

And it also sounded like he didn’t think he’d be back. Which he would. He had to be. He couldn’t do that to Thea or the others.

So he erased it and pocketed his phone. Maybe that was wrong, too, but he didn’t know how to go forward if he stopped to talk about this.

It was time to meet the League.

—-

She’d barely gotten into the habit of celebrating the holidays the last two years, so it was easy to just skip over it again. Laurel kept herself busy, at work and the gym, and she didn’t let herself notice when there wasn’t any sort of invitation sent her way. Oliver hadn’t sent her one last year, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise.

What did surprise her was her mother unexpectedly dropping in for a visit. Laurel had been dropping some files off at the precinct and instinctively looked in the direction of her father’s office. She’d spotted both her parents inside, her father holding her mother while she cried.

Laurel fled the precinct. She was sure her father’s anger would only rise if he saw her right now, and she didn’t know how her mother would react. What if she blamed her for not protecting Sara?

She ducked into a nearby cafe and sat down to catch her breath. It was almost habit to take out her phone and type.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I don’t wanna be that person, but I could really use a friend right now _

 

Laurel waited, but for several minutes there was no reply. Probably he was busy. Or asleep, even if it was getting later in the day. She waited a bit longer, but eventually conceded defeat, if only because she needed to leave the cafe if she wasn’t planning to buy anything.

That night, she did come across her mother at Sara’s grave when she went to visit. Laurel told her everything she could about what had happened and promised to deliver justice to her sister’s killer. Even if she still didn’t know who the killer was. Whatever trail Oliver had been following had seemingly run cold.

But it was worse than she imagined. Laurel managed to find time some days later to make it down to the base and check on Oliver’s team. His team, because Oliver wasn’t there. And Oliver wasn’t there because, according to them, he had died.

Her immediate reaction was total rejection. Malcolm was the last person she would trust to have reliable information for them, and Oliver just didn’t die. He couldn’t. Not like that, not when she hadn’t even—

As much as she had denied it to the others, her private worries ate away at her confidence. Laurel wouldn’t admit it out loud, from pride if nothing else, but the more time that went by without any word from him, the more likely Merlyn’s story seemed.

There was only one person to whom she was willing to confide that fear in.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: hey, can we talk? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I think my friend-ex died _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: he’s been MIA for over a week. I can’t believe this. _

 

She didn’t hear back from him at all that day or the next. Did he think she was messing with him? She wasn’t, at least not on purpose. Laurel was trying to remain positive that Oliver would prove them all wrong about his supposed death. But as the nights dragged on that hope was getting harder to maintain.

What if he was really gone? Just as suddenly as before, with her wondering what she should have said or done differently. What had they even talked about last? Why hadn’t he said goodbye?

Laurel turned over in her bed and took up her phone, squinting at the bright screen. Only 3:30.

Her thumb hovered over the app. Was there really a point? If he wasn’t responding, there had to be a reason. But she still had something to say.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I should’ve told him how I felt _

 

She shut her phone off immediately after sending it. On the off chance that her online friend chose this moment to finally reply, she didn’t want to answer to her anonymous confession.

But by the next morning, there was still nothing. Laurel was sick of it.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: if you could not pick right now to ghost on me, that’d be really great _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I’m such an idiot _

 

Both her parents were mourning her sister, she had little to no real friends, and all the trust and faith she’d poured into some unknown person was turning out to be yet another mistake. Why had she ever thought this would be a good idea?

Things continued to get worse in the city in the Arrow’s absence and with the lack of any clear action from his team. They didn’t seem to know what to do without him, and while she could sympathize, this was exactly the time the city needed them most. Even if they felt they had failed Oliver, there were countless people who were counting on them.

Laurel was left alone in the base after John went home. In the silence, she looked over her sister’s old mask, wig, and sonic devices; the things she had used to help Starling City only last year, the things that had helped her be a hero. And the longer she stared, the larger an idea loomed in her mind.

Could she do it? Risk it all like Sara and Oliver had? Who else was willing?

Anyone in her life would be trying to talk her out of this. If they were here. But she was alone. Unless...

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I’m about to do something, and I know everyone is gonna think I’m crazy for it but I just know it’s right _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I guess I just needed someone to tell that to _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: even if you’re not listening _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I hope you’re ok _

 

Still no response. It was probably never coming. She was on her own virtually and in reality. Time to make up her own mind.

Laurel put the phone and her vanished friends out of her mind, taking up the mask and heading out into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so another chapter for another week! We'll see the return of Oliver's real life and online personas, as well as how some of the communication between these two has started to affect their decisions as opposed to how things went in the show. I hope you enjoy!

Oliver wasn’t sure exactly how to feel. He was back home after a grueling recovery from the brink of death. He still had no idea what to do about the situation with Thea; if he should tell her, how to do so, and above all how to keep her safe. And Felicity officially wanted nothing to do with him because of Malcolm.

The one thing he hadn’t been anticipating, though perhaps he should have, was Laurel taking up a mask and joining the fight in the streets. His first instinct was to intervene as quickly and severely as possible. Losing Sara had been one thing; he couldn’t even imagine what it would do to him if he couldn’t keep Laurel safe.

But he needed to try and understand things from her point of view. They’d been working on that before, and he knew if he went to her now with his emotions a mess he would ruin any progress they’d made. Having just lost Felicity’s confidence, he wasn’t eager to do that with another person in his life.

Alone for the first time since he’d gotten back to the base and with time to spare, Oliver’s eyes went to his phone. If there wasn’t anyone in his real life he could turn to at the moment, maybe he still had someone to talk to.

He opened the app and was surprised to see the number of messages waiting for him. As he read them, a lead weight seemed to drop into his stomach.

His thumbs started moving over the keys at a frantic pace.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: god, I’m sorry. I went somewhere over the holiday without any cell service. Just got back. _

_ KingOfSurvival: I should have said something before I left. Are you ok? _

 

He stared at the screen for what felt an age before the bubble indicating her typing appeared.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah, I’m fine. I should have guessed it was that. Sorry for jumping to conclusions. _

_ KingOfSurvival: it’s fine. sounds like you had a rough Christmas. I’m really sorry about your friend-ex _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: oh _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: no, he’s ok _

 

Oliver blinked at his screen in surprise.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: really? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah. I should have known. I did know, but everyone else was so convinced. I guess I was letting it get to me a little when I wrote that. _

_ KingOfSurvival: so what really happened to him? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: honestly, I don’t know the whole story. I don’t even know that he’d tell me if I asked _

_ KingOfSurvival: if he’s your friend at all he should _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: why do I detect a hint of doubt on your part? _

 

Oliver smirked, sitting back as he thought his way through a reply.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: well, to be honest, from everything you’ve told me...he doesn’t sound that great _

 

There was a bit of a pause. For a moment, he wondered if he’d touched a nerve. Then it looked like she was starting and stopping various replies.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: it’s complicated _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I mean, yes, he can be difficult. And sometimes I wonder why I bother, but then I’m just as difficult at times _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: he’s been through a lot, and it hasn’t been easy for him. And a lot of that stuff we’ve been through together _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I guess we sort of need each other, in a way _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: does that make any sense? _

 

He wished that didn’t make as much sense as it did. But Oliver had his own share of people he’d put through Hell and yet couldn’t let go of. And honesty was his own stumbling block.

His thoughts turned again to Laurel, punching through the streets on his behalf, waiting for any new leads on her sister’s case. What would his anonymous friend think of him if she knew he was just as bad at telling his loved ones the truth?

If he was going to make judgments on her friend-ex, shouldn’t he hold himself to the same, if not higher, standard? Practice what he preached?

 

_ KingOfSurvival: Yeah, it does _

_ KingOfSurvival: but that doesn’t mean you should put up with less than you deserve _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: my head understands that. Heart, not so much _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: gotta go _

_ KingOfSurvival: ok _

 

Oliver watched the screen a moment more, but she really did seem to be gone. He wondered if pushing for more had made her uncomfortable or if she really had been called away.

He read over his last few words. Putting up with less than she deserved. That just about summed up his relationship with Laurel. She never demanded more, yet he hated himself for each and every disappointment he delivered her.

Well no more. He had nearly died facing Ra’s al Ghul, but he’d gotten the chance to come home and make things right. And he had a much better idea of what that meant this time around.

He’d pledged his service to the city, and he could start repairing the relationships he had with his team and family. Thea would have to learn the truth, if only for her own safety, but maybe that could finally bring them together like they hadn’t been since before the island. John and Lyla’s wedding was approaching, and he could be there for them, too. He could figure out how to bridge the gaps with his other friends as well. Have a life and not just a mission.

And it only made sense to start with the friend who insisted those were both possible for him. Once again, talking to his online friend had showed him just how badly he owed Laurel an explanation.

—-

She should have been expecting this the moment her father caught sight of her on the streets. He hadn’t even bothered to knock, just barged right in as she only just settled onto her couch for the night, tired and relieved at finally hearing back from her dating app friend. She typed out a quick goodbye and tucked her phone away.

“Hey, dad.”

“What are you thinking? Huh?”

She didn’t bother to ask what he meant. They both knew.

“I’d been hearing reports, you know. Didn’t want to believe them. Hoped you had better sense than that.”

Laurel stood. She’d never liked giving him even more reason to feel he was talking down to her. “Yes, better sense than to assume the justice system was ever going to stop Brick.”

“Well, that doesn’t make it your job!” He snapped. She’d known he would. “Damnit, Laurel, you are not some vigilante!”

“So you’d rather I ask another one to do it for me?” She took a step towards him. “That’s not who I am. It never has been, no matter how hard you have tried to keep me out of it. I can’t live in this ivory tower of safety while everyone I know is going out there fighting the battles that I picked in the first place!”

“You’re gonna get yourself killed just like Sara did,” he said, pointing at her in accusation. “And I will not let that happen, Laurel, I won’t.”

“You’ll have to arrest me, then.”

She stood her ground, and her father glared back at her. Laurel truly didn’t know in this moment what he would decide.

But a knock at the door interrupted anything he might have said or done next.

“If I am allowed to get that?” She didn’t wait for his answer, striding to the door and wrenching it open. She blinked in surprise at who was on the other side. “Oliver.”

“Hey.” His eyes drifted over her head. “Is this a bad time?”

She looked back to see her father had followed her out of the sitting room. He hadn’t taken out the cuffs yet, at the least.

“No, no that’s fine,” said her father. “You can try talking some sense into her.” He pushed past Laurel and out the door, striding to the elevators without a backward glance.

Laurel sighed and let Oliver in, shutting the door behind him.

“What was that about?”

“He knows I was there in the Glades, fighting. And that’s the extent of it,” she added before he could start to worry about his identity being compromised.

“And he’s not okay with it.”

“Well, nobody is, are they?”

He winced. “Laurel, I may not be happy you’re out there, but I know you. You were going to do this whether I was here or not.”

Now that she was thinking about Oliver’s absence again, a question came to her. A question her online friend believed she had the right to know the answer to. If Oliver still considered her a friend at all...here went nothing. “Why did you go to fight the League? The others never said.”

Oliver hesitated. But eventually, he answered, “The reason I left to fight Ra’s was because we figured out who killed Sara.”

Laurel went completely still. “You figured out — the team knew? This whole time?”

“I asked them not to tell you.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react,” he said, frustration evident. “That you’d be upset.”

“Of course I’m upset!” She stalked toward him, sitting there acting like he was the reasonable one. He always thought he was. “You hid my sister’s killer from me, Oliver. Put yourself in my shoes and see if you don’t get upset!”

“And that’s why I didn’t have them tell you!” He rose to his feet as well, shouting. Laurel didn’t even flinch, and in the face of that he seemed to shrink back in on himself. “I had to protect my family, too.”

Laurel’s own fury faltered. “What- what are you saying?”

“Laurel, I’m sorry.” And he really did look it, absolutely miserable and tired. “But it was Thea.”

_ No. _ She wasn’t sure if she spoke it or simply thought it. Laurel sunk down onto her couch, legs unable to hold her as her entire world shifted.

“But, why? Why would Thea…?” It was too horrible to even voice.

“It wasn’t- she was drugged. She wasn’t in control of her actions. She still doesn’t even know she did it.”

Laurel looked up at him. “Then who did it? Who really did this?”

He drew in a breath, like he wanted to hold onto the name for as long as possible. “Malcolm.”

The air left her lungs in a great  _ whoosh _ . Malcolm. Of course it had been him all along. Stranding Oliver and Sara in the North China Sea, the Undertaking and all its victims, Tommy’s sacrifice — none of it was ever going to be enough to sate that man’s desires.

“He has a recording of Thea doing it, and if I hadn’t confessed in her place he promised to send it to the League.” His eyes were begging her to understand.

“So why not tell them that? Nyssa would have believed you.”

“But who’s to say if her father would have?”

That she could understand. Oliver would never depend on the mercy of a stranger when it came to his sister’s safety. Neither of them would. They’d sooner throw themselves on the sword, even if they didn’t come back like Oliver miraculously had.

“What are we going to do now? If you didn’t die but didn’t defeat Ra’s, is that going to satisfy them?”

“I don’t know. But I’m preparing.” Oliver didn’t speak for a few moments, and she could see him weighing whether to continue or not in his mind. “I’ve asked Malcolm to help train me.”

“You better be joking.”

“I’m not. He’s better than me, and he has knowledge about Ra’s that I need.”

She shook her head. “He can’t beat Ra’s, Oliver. That’s why he set this up in the first place so you would do it for him.” Couldn’t he see he was being used as surely as Thea had been? That Malcolm had been willing to see him tossed aside the same as Sara?

“I know, but I don’t have many other options. I’m not asking you to agree with me, but if this is going to make things difficult to work together, then you needed to know.”

Work together. Oliver was actually considering that an option. She wanted to feel some rush of pride or satisfaction, but the knowledge of just who all she’d be agreeing to side with made that impossible. Could she do it? Work with the man who’d arranged her sister’s death in order to keep her other loved ones safe?

“What does Thea know?” It roiled her stomach, thinking of how thoroughly her younger friend had been used. What would be going through her head?

“Nothing yet. But I’m going to tell her. All of it.” He frowned, his brow furrowing. “She needs to train, too, in case the League ever finds out her involvement.”

They both knew that was less likely to be an if and rather a when. Even in the event the League never found out, Thea would be a target purely because of her relation to Oliver. And Laurel refused to lose Thea, not when she was the closest thing to a little sister she had left.

“Then I guess I’m on your team after all.”

His shoulders sagged in relief. She wasn’t done, though.

“But Oliver, if the League comes back, I will not hesitate to give them Malcolm—”

He shook his head. “Laurel, this can’t be about justice or revenge anymore—”

“ _ —for you, _ ” she finished and watched his eyes widen. “If it would save you or Thea, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

He stared at her, saying nothing, and yet Laurel could feel the sadness radiating from him.

“What?”

“I never wanted you to have to make those kind of choices.”

“I work in the DA’s office, Ollie. I make those kind of choices every day.”

She didn’t know how to make him or her father see that she wasn’t that naive girl anymore, and that she never would be again. For better or worse, this was who she was.

Oliver nodded, though his voice barely carried as he said, “You’re right.”

She felt some of the tension relax in her shoulders. So they knew where they stood now. No surprises.

“Do you need to get home? Thea has to be pretty worried about you by now.”

“I should, yeah. Just knew I needed to do this first.”

Laurel felt her lips curve up slightly. “Well, thank you. And I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I always try to be.”

Oliver stood there a few moments more, like he wasn’t sure if he should just go or not. Laurel sighed and stood, putting her arms around him.

“And we’ll get through this. We always do.”

Ollie hugged her back, one hand placed at the back of her head as if to hold her in place there. It wasn’t fair how right it felt, how much like home.

But he eventually stepped back and left her apartment, the door closing quietly on him. Laurel bypassed the couch and went straight to her bed. It had been a long night.

She set her phone on her nightstand as she changed into her pajamas, wincing at a couple sore muscles that stretched with the movement. There were no new notifications, so she’d have to assume her anonymous friend had turned in for the night. If only he'd gotten back from his vacation a day earlier, she wouldn't have been trying to juggle both him and her real life friends as much.

Laurel considered sending him another message to apologize for signing off so abruptly, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to break down the conversations with her father and Oliver.

She was never ready to figure out what was going on with Oliver.

Laurel slipped under the covers and did her best to put any and all of those matters out of her mind in order to sleep. Fortunately, she was worn out enough from the fight to drop right off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's another chapter. So I have a question for you all: I had a shorter, simpler ending initially planned and written, but some discussion in the comments caused me to reconsider and possibly extend things further. That being said, I don't have any of that material written and I am looking to be incredibly busy this summer between work, summer assignments, and internships. So would people prefer that I just post everything that I have, including that original ending, on schedule, or would they prefer I write the alternate ending which might cause this story to go on hiatus in a couple of weeks? Please let me know your preference in the comments.  
> At any rate, I hope you enjoy this chapter in the meantime!

As he’d told Laurel, Oliver was preparing for the inevitable clash against Ra’s, and that meant preparing Thea. He’d been relieved to finally tell her the truth about his identity, and even more so that she’d accepted him despite everything his being the Arrow had done to her life.

But to tell her the rest, he couldn’t do it here. Thea needed space away from the others, and from Malcolm, to learn the truth of what she’d been forced to do.  So he’d decided to take her to Lian Yu, partly to start his own training of her and partly to provide her that space. To do that, of course, meant leaving again.

This time, he thought he’d go about it the right way.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: just wanted to let you know this time, I am going on a trip without WiFi. Should be a week. Don’t organize any search parties while I’m gone _

 

Sure enough, she replied.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: haha very funny _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: but thanks for telling me, really _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: and have fun _

 

Despite knowing he wasn’t planning much fun by a long shot, he found himself smiling. 

 

_ KingOfSurvival: we’ll see _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’ll miss you _

 

Oliver licked his lips as he watched for her response. He’d typed that on an impulse, not really thinking through the implications. Would she find that weird? Clingy?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: miss you too _

 

He breathed a sigh of relief and put away his phone.

On the plane ride over and in the initial calm of their stay on the island, he caught himself scrolling back through old conversations of theirs, just to read her words again. And in the aftermath of their confrontation with Slade, he found himself wishing he could just be home again so he could talk to her.

She’d become such a part of his life it was hard to believe sometimes. He thought of her as a friend the same as John or Felicity or Roy or even Laurel, even if he’d known this person for only a fraction of the time he’d known her. Yet it also gave him some hope; Slade may have been right that he’d lost some of the most important people in his life, but Oliver had to be doing something right if she was in it.

—-

Ever since Thea had learned the truth —about herself, about Oliver, about Malcolm — it felt like she’d been training nonstop. She couldn’t complain; training her body, pushing it to the limit and working herself to exhaustion kept her from thinking. If she slowed down, she’d have to face to truth at the heart of it all: what she’d done to Sara.

She didn’t know how to live with this kind of guilt.

Thea went down to the base one late afternoon and found it mostly vacant. Laurel was working with her gloves at the mats, a whirlwind of movement. She wished she could be like that, training with a sheer iron will instead of having a target on her back. Even her initial training with Malcolm, part of her wondered now just how much of it had really been her idea or if it had all been his careful manipulation.

Thea didn’t know whether to call out to her or not; she knew Laurel didn’t blame her, but she found herself mostly keeping out of her way regardless.

But Laurel stopped, going for a towel to wipe at the sweat on her forehead. She nodded to Thea. “Hey, Speedy.”

“Hey. Um, looking good.”

“Thanks.”

There was a pause. There were always pauses now around Thea. She didn’t know what to say and people didn’t know what to say to her. It sucked, and she didn’t know what was worse. She would never want to take back not knowing the truth, but in some ways it had brought her closer to the people she cared about and in some it ways it had only pushed them further away.

“Think you could show me how to do that?” She blurted unexpectedly.

“You want me to train you?”

“Well, sure, Malcolm and Oliver aren’t boxing experts.”

“I wouldn’t call myself an expert,” Laurel deflected.

“But you’ll be better than me. And maybe teaching somebody will help you, too. It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she added, looking down. Thea ought to consider herself lucky Laurel still talked to her at all, if she were being honest with herself. But she couldn’t stop herself missing her.

Maybe Laurel read some of that on her face, because she stepped forward and placed a hand on Thea’s shoulder. “Of course I want to. I just figured with Oliver and Malcolm already training you, you wouldn’t need my help.”

“Are you kidding? Laurel, you throw guys against  _ walls _ . No way Ollie’s gonna teach me that.”

Her friend’s lips pressed together, an attempt to hide the pleased smile she wore. “Well, let’s start with the basics, first.”

And she  _ really _ meant the basics. Laurel showed her how to put on the gloves properly, how to hold her fists, the right stance, and none of that involved throwing a punch yet.

Laurel got herself ready but threw Thea for a loop when she strapped a couple pads onto her gloves. 

“What’re those?”

“Focus mitts.” She tapped the center of one. “You’re gonna be punching right here.”

That proved to be harder work than she’d thought. Laurel wasn’t punching back, but she didn’t stay still either. She showed Thea the difference between various combinations and then had her practice them one after the other. It was a good way to work up a sweat.

Laurel’s phone buzzed, and she held up a hand to signal a pause so she could go check it. Thea ventured off the mat for her water bottle, and she glanced at Laurel out of the corner of her eye.

Her friend’s eyes were sparkling as she typed out some reply, her lips pressed together like she was holding in a laugh. It had been a long time since Thea had ever seen her smile like that.

Curiosity piqued, she asked, “Who’s that?”

Laurel looked up with wide eyes. “Um, nobody.”

Thea raised an eyebrow. “Right, that’s why they have your number.”

“It’s kind of a long story.” Laurel looked around the currently empty base, then sighed. She took two steps closer to Thea. “Can you promise not to tell anybody?”

“Yeah, of course,” Thea agreed even as she tensed slightly. Secrets among this group never seemed to turn out well.

But to her pleasant surprise, what Laurel eventually said was, “I’ve been talking to this guy on an anonymous dating app.”

“No way!”

“It’s not like that. I mean, we’re friends. And he’s a great guy, but I don’t even know his name. And anyway…” She trailed off and shook her head, though Thea didn’t miss the way her eyes had drifted over to Oliver’s suit in its case.

“But you like him?”

“Him? Oh.” Laurel glanced back down at her phone. “Yeah. I mean, it’s just been nice to have someone to talk to who’s a little distant from it all.”

“It doesn’t make it harder since you can’t get into the details?”

She shrugged. “We work around it. But even if I can’t say everything, I’m still being honest. And it’s nice to have somebody listen to what I’m saying instead of deciding what I must be thinking because of my past mistakes.”

When she put it that way, it sounded great. “Where do I sign up?”

Laurel chuckled. “I got really lucky finding someone who wanted something similar out of this to what I did. And it took a while and a lot of unwelcome messages before that.” She set the phone aside. “Besides, I know you guys are here for me, too, just like I’m here for you.”

Thea smiled. “Thanks, Laurel. I don’t know how you even still want to care—”

“Hey, we all know this wasn’t your fault.” Laurel held her gaze until she nodded once. “And I’m always going to care about you, and Ollie, and the others.”

“I’m glad you and Ollie are better friends than last year,” Thea said before she could really help herself.

But Laurel didn’t look offended. “So am I. I think we’re all getting better from last year. Knowing the truth helps. And he’s been...different.” Her gaze went far away again, probably thinking of the different things Thea’s brother had apparently been doing. “It’s been nice being able to talk to him, too.”

Laurel gave herself a little shake, then reached for the training mitts.

“Let’s get back to work.”

Thea agreed with little fuss, though her mind remained on what she’d just learned. She wanted Laurel to be happy, no matter what form that took, but wondered at the choice the other woman seemed stuck between; take a chance on a stranger, or hold onto what was familiar yet no more guaranteed. Maybe she ought to try sounding Ollie out discreetly for her to see where he stood. Thea didn’t want Laurel to lose an opportunity with this new guy just because her brother was giving off his infamous mixed signals. But she wanted Oliver to be happy, too. Maybe it was better not to meddle and let whatever happened happen.

Even if a relationship wasn’t in the cards, Thea was glad to know her friend had someone in her life to make her smile like that again.

—-

Oliver stared at the popup on the screen.

 

_ You have earned one-hundred stars with JusticeIsAWoman! Show her your photo? Y/N _

 

He had completely forgotten that aspect of the app, which Felicity had only mentioned once in passing. She clearly hadn’t thought he’d ever reach this point. He hadn’t meant to reach it at all.

Oliver closed out of the little box and pulled up the chat screen.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: you didn’t happen to get a notification about stars, did you? _

 

It was a few minutes after that that she sent a reply.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: just saw it _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: So...pictures _

_ KingOfSurvival: yeah _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m not even sure I ever uploaded a picture _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I know I didn’t _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: so what do we want to do _

 

That wasn’t as easy a question as it sounded. On the one hand, he’d been talking to her and wondering for so long, it might be nice to have a face to match to his idea of her. Maybe even a name. Something that would make this deep familiarity she seemed to hold with him feel more tangible, more explainable.

On the other hand, whenever things became tangible, that was always when they went wrong. When he made them go wrong.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I guess I’m afraid it will ruin what we have _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: funny, that’s what I was thinking _

 

Well, at least he wasn’t the only one worried about screwing up.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m sure you’d do fine _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m the one who can never see when I have a good thing going _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you really gotta stop beating yourself up about that one failed date _

 

Oliver blinked. He hadn’t even been thinking of Felicity in that moment.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I meant the other friend-ex _

 

He always meant the other friend-ex, didn’t he? No matter what he said or did, it always seemed to come back to Laurel. He’d probably talked about Laurel twice as much as Felicity on this app, gotten more advice, done more to try and heal what he’d broken.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I thought you weren’t still interested in her? _

 

He’d said as much in his real life, hadn’t he? But why did his thoughts always trend back in that direction? What was it that always brought him back to her?

 

_ KingOfSurvival: it’s not really a matter of whether I’m interested _

_ KingOfSurvival: I screwed things up too badly between us for her to ever be interested again _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: she said that? _

_ KingOfSurvival: not in so many words _

_ KingOfSurvival: but I’m not trying to decide things for her, promise _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: well, I’m sorry things ended up that way between you _

_ KingOfSurvival: me too _

 

Oliver felt like his head was spinning. He’d never gotten over the regret for his actions regarding Laurel, but over time he’d tried to tell himself that was just because it had been wrong. Not that he still missed what they’d had.

But he did miss it. He missed being the one to make her smile or laugh, missed the quiet nights where the most serious thing they had to discuss was what to order in for their study dates, missed how she used to pretend to get scared at a horror film so he had the excuse to pull her into his arms.

No matter how many times Laurel told him now that he could have a life and be the Arrow at the same time, Oliver realized it would never be enough, because he could never have the life he really wanted ever again. He’d lost that long before he ever put on that hood, and he’d be a fool to think he could ever get it back.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I guess that’s why I’m on here _

_ KingOfSurvival: because I kept trying to move on with real dating, but it never worked _

_ KingOfSurvival: and I knew it was me but I didn’t want to admit why it was me _

_ KingOfSurvival: why I didn’t want to move on _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: it’s hard to admit when you’re not over someone _

_ KingOfSurvival: but I need to be _

 

Not for himself, but for Laurel. He could see now how his feelings got in the way of rational decision making when it came to her. John had always warned him. If he hadn’t been so worried or protective, maybe he would have agreed to train her and she’d be better off in the streets than she was now. Maybe he’d have been more forthcoming with information about Sara’s case if he hadn’t been so concerned with sparing her pain, so she wouldn’t have felt she needed to do things so on her own.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I keep setting myself up to fail because I think it’s what I deserve. But all it does is hurt other people _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah, I’ve been there _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: but what does your friend-ex want? Like really what she wants, not what you think she wants _

_ KingOfSurvival: I know, I’m learning _

 

Oliver couldn’t quite believe himself, that he was back here even  _ considering  _ if Laurel...but no. He felt it was fair to say she wasn’t looking for a relationship with him, or perhaps anyone, at the moment.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: she wants to be friends, I guess _

_ KingOfSurvival: she said we should hang out more, outside of work I mean _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: how’s she doing at the new job? _

_ KingOfSurvival: good. Great, really, considering she hasn’t been at it that long _

 

He hadn’t allowed himself to say that nearly enough. He’d been tougher on her than Roy or Barry, and he knew that was because he’d been trying to keep her off the field and safe. Because he cared about her so fiercely he didn’t know how to handle it sometimes.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: so will you ask her out? _

_ KingOfSurvival: just as a friend _

_ KingOfSurvival: things are too hectic right now to even consider anything else _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I can understand that _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: so what about us? _

 

What about them? If he knew he was still struggling with moving on, it wouldn’t be fair to take a new step with this not-quite-a-relationship. But then was putting whatever they had on hold for something he knew would never happen fair?

 

_ KingOfSurvival: don’t get me wrong, I like what we have _

_ KingOfSurvival: but considering our dating histories, maybe it might be a good idea to take our time on something like this? _

 

It was a while before she answered. He wondered if he’d scared her off by mentioning dating. After all, they’d promised. And pictures didn’t have to mean dating, but they would mean...something. Something more.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: ok _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: how about if we hit another hundred stars, we’ll show each other our pictures then _

 

It was reasonable.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: sure _

 

It was probably a cowardly move, but he wasn’t sure how to be brave in this sort of situation. He never had been. As long as they were still talking, that would have to be enough. At least for now.

He had some unfinished personal matters to finally get some closure on.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, but an interesting development in it, I hope. Thanks for all the feedback on what to do with the ending, everyone. I'm gonna think on it a little more before I decide. Enjoy the chapter!

She was elbow deep in a file with a couple of clerks when her phone started ringing late one morning. Knowing she’d lose whatever detail she was trying to find if she broke off now, Laurel nodded to her cell on the desk and met one of the clerk’s eyes.

“Can you get that?”

Abby nodded and picked it up. “ADA Lance’s phone, can I take a message.” There was a pause, then Abby covered the phone with one hand. “Um, there’s a man asking if you can meet him for lunch.”

Laurel looked up. “What?” She stepped around the desk and took the phone, glancing at the caller ID.

Oh.

“Seriously, Ollie?”

“You did say any time between 11:30 and 2:00.” The slight teasing tone left his voice as he asked, “Does today not work for you?”

She had half a mind to give him an irritated  _ yes _ , but she paused. This was the first time Oliver had even tried to take her up on her offer. Had something happened?

“No, I can make it.” She looked over her shoulder at the clerks and the pile of work on her desk. “Just, maybe give me thirty minutes.”

“I’ll be there in an hour,” Oliver promised, and he hung up before she could reply.

Laurel shook her head and returned to her work, not even leaving room for her assistants to ask any questions.

True to his word, Oliver was rapping on her door frame just after noon. She grabbed her purse and walked with him out of City Hall.

“Your pick,” Oliver said. “You’d know better than me what’s good around here.”

So they really were just getting lunch. Laurel led them along to a sandwich and soup place, trying to gauge his mood. Oliver had been odd ever since his and John’s trip to Nanda Parbat, but nothing about this seeming good mood rang false.

She couldn’t resist asking as they sat down with their food, “So what brought this on?”

“Does something have to have brought this on?”

She gave him a look.

Oliver shook his head but was smiling just a little. “A lot’s been going on. With the League, the team. I guess I realized maybe I could use a little normal.”

“Okay.” She started to unwrap her sandwich, and he did the same.

“What were you working on when I called?”

“Building a case. You know, the usual.”

“Right. How’s your dad? I’ve been trying to stay out of his way.”

“Yeah.” She didn’t blame him. Even if she had told her father the Arrow wasn’t at fault, he was still likely to lash out if provoked. “He’s drinking again. Angry. Feels like old times.”

“I’m sorry.”

Laurel lifted her eyes from her plate. “There’s no point in saying it, Ollie. We’ve both made our positions on Malcolm clear.”

He nodded. “I wish there was some other way.”

“You do?” It was the first he’d said so.

“I miss seeing you happy.”

She had trouble finding her voice for a moment. “Well, I’m not — I’m better than I have been. Going out there with you guys helps.”

Oliver nodded.

“What about you?” Laurel risked glancing up at him while keeping her face tilted down. “Are you happy?”

“Trying to be.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“A lot. Me, mostly.” Oliver sighed. “Maybe it is possible to have a life along with the work that we do, but so far I have not been able to find that balance the way the rest of you have.”

“Well, hold the applause, because I’m not sure I’m the best example of someone who has it all,” she remarked. “What do you feel like is missing from your life? A job, a social sphere?”

“A little bit. Connection. A relationship, I guess,” was his final answer, causing her heart to sink despite herself. “The trouble is those never work out for me. And at this point, I’m not sure it’s what I deserve.”

Laurel sighed. Ever since he had first come home to Starling, it seemed Oliver was in constant conflict with himself over what he could or couldn’t have. That back-and-forth had burned her more than once. The least she could do was help spare the next woman. “As much as things have gone wrong at times, as mad as you can make me — you always have the best intentions. I don’t think that anyone who is genuinely trying to do good for others deserves anything less than happiness. Even if it’s not today.”

He looked at her, lips forming the slightest potential of a smile. “You really believe that?”

“I have to. You’re not the only person who’s made mistakes, you know.”

He shook his head. “I think if we get into comparisons, it’s gonna become obvious pretty fast which of us deserves that happiness.”

“Good thing it’s not a zero sum game, then,” she replied. Then she took up her food again, keeping her eyes on it as she spoke. “So stop stopping yourself, would be my advice. If you want to start a relationship, then you should go for it.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “The worst thing is to have to wonder what might have been. Trust me.” Laurel hoped her smile met muster, but it was an effort to keep up.

“Okay. Thanks, I needed to hear that.” Oliver settled back in his seat as he also returned to his food.

They talked about this and that for the rest of the meal, never straying into anything that serious. He even walked her back to her office. It was the nicest lunch she’d had in a while.

Oliver could be really sweet when he wanted to; he’d make someone else very happy.

If there was any consolation, it was that all this talk seemed to be purely in the theoretical. After all, Oliver wasn’t currently spending time around many single woman. She’d have some time to prepare herself for that inevitably.

—-

John was certain in his decision to marry Lyla. That didn’t mean he liked all the decisions that came with a marriage, or rather a wedding.

Things had been much simpler in Afghanistan. No questions of table centerpieces or who sat where, what their colors were going to be. He’d jokingly suggested camo and gotten a roll of the eyes out of Lyla for that. About the only worthwhile part of the planning was when they had decided what part little Sara was going to play in all of it. A part of him was glad she was here ahead of the wedding; it was their love for her and each other that had him going through with this.

But he was going to tear out the little hair he had if they didn’t get this guest list situation sorted out soon.

Felicity had flipped back and forth on whether she wanted to bring Palmer, knowing John didn’t completely approve of the situation. Then Thea had dropped her plus one. A couple of the guests on Lyla’s side had had to cancel last minute due to unexpected assignments. But he thought they had the whole thing settled now.

It was the last possible person he could have ever expected to throw a final monkey wrench into the whole thing.

That afternoon he made it down to the base ahead of everyone else. Everyone else, that was, except Oliver. His friend was going through his usual workout, but rather than at least finish the set he was on, Oliver stopped as soon as he noticed John enter the room.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Something up?”

Oliver nodded rather than answer. He took a long pull of the water bottle he’d set aside, and John couldn’t help noticing the fingers of his free hand twitching at his side. Nervous energy.

Oliver wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and said, “John, I need a favor. And it’s about the wedding.”

John shook his head. “Look man, there’s nothing you need to worry about. You’re good with speeches, and there just isn’t a better choice. You’re my brother.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that, really.” Some of Oliver’s tension had dissipated, but not entirely. “I was wondering if it’s too late to ask for a plus one.”

John stared. “You’re bringing a date?”

“Hopefully.” Oliver licked his lips. “I still have to ask her.”

“But you haven’t been dating anyone.” When would he have even had  _ time ? _

“It’s sort of a long story.”

John crossed his arms. “Alright, when did you meet this girl?”

“This past fall.”

“But Felicity—”

“It wasn’t until after we tried — she should be okay with it. She’s got Ray.”

He had to raise an eyebrow at that. It was Ray now?

“And this woman knows you were in love with Felicity.”

“She knows I was trying to get over someone. But it was one failed date, John,” Oliver reminded him.

“And how many dates have you been on with this new woman?”

His friend looked like he only just held back from rolling his eyes. “Look, I know it’s sudden. And you have every right to say no. This is your wedding, and I don’t want to bring someone into it that’s going to complicate things for you or Lyla,” said Oliver. “But I have given a lot of thought to this, about whether this is a step I want to take with her, and I think I do. I think I want to introduce her to the other people in my life.”

He didn’t know what to think. Yes, Oliver had been rather quiet on the whole Felicity front for a while, but he’d thought that had been his friend’s typical coping mechanism of repression. How could he have missed this?

“You’re really moving on?”

“Yeah.” Oliver didn’t sound sad or wistful. In fact, there was the smallest smile on his face. “Yeah, I think I am.”

John sighed. “Alright. Yeah, we got room for one more.”

Oliver’s smile made it actually seem worth it. “Thank you, John.”

“Anything I should know about her?”

“Well, she’s funny, but sort of with an edge to it? Tough, but really just kind underneath it all. She is a really good listener. I mean, I know I only started talking to her about four months ago, but it feels like we’ve been friends for years.” His voice had grown softer and his smile, though still present, shy. He really liked this girl.

John pushed the misgivings he might have had to the side and reached out to squeeze his friend’s shoulder. “I’m happy for you, man.”

Could he really begrudge him for trying to move on when Felicity was doing likewise? Though that did make him wonder just what Felicity would have to say about all this.

Oliver left to grab a bite to eat — was he meeting this new woman? — and within half an hour Felicity arrived at the base.

It would only be fair to warn her, right? He didn’t really want some blow up at his wedding.

So he approached her station at the computers. “Did you know Oliver was dating?”

“What?” Felicity looked totally shocked for a moment, until suddenly her confused expression cleared up. “Oh! Yeah, I set him up with an online account. Didn’t really think he’d tell you about that.”

John frowned. “He didn’t.”

Felicity frowned in an almost perfect echo. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he didn’t mention the online bit. Just asked me for a plus one to the wedding.”

“Woah, something actually  _ happened _ ?”

“Guess so.” Now the misgivings were back in full force. Oliver thought he was serious about some online chick? Did he even know if she was real?

“Well, who is she? What’s she like?”

He thought of what Oliver had said and shook his head. Anybody could pretend to be witty and charming online. “I have no idea. He didn’t even tell me her name.”

“He must be really serious about her if he’s meeting her in-person and everything,” Felicity said, her eyes downcast.

“I’m sorry, Felicity.”

She blinked and looked up at him again. “Why would you be sorry? This is exactly what I wanted.” 

“But you — I mean, why set him up with someone else?”

“Because I have watched other women try to get over Oliver Queen. And that is impossible to do when he is single. Helena went crazy, McKenna has never come back to the city. I mean, Laurel hasn’t dated for almost two years because of how things turned out with him and Tommy! I do not need that kind of emotional scarring.” She took a breath, and her tone grew more subdued. “And I guess I made the right call, if he really could get over me by talking to some online woman.”

“I’ll tell him not to invite her,” John decided.

“Well, you already gave him the plus one,” Felicity reminded him. “And if you take it back now he’s going to think  _ I _ had some problem with it, which I don’t. I’m happy with where things are between me and Ray. The last thing I need is an Oliver swinging in at the eleventh hour.”

“If you’re sure.” A thought occurred to him. “You don’t think you could use his phone, trace this girl’s signal back to the source?”

Felicity was already shaking her head. “Oh  _ no _ , I am not getting involved.”

“But it could be anybody on the other end. He could be setting himself up to get real hurt.”

“Well, that’s a risk he’s going to have to take if he wants to meet her. But I don’t even want to know how angry he’d get if he found out I hacked his phone. You couldn’t even pay me. Not that any of you ever have,” she added in an undertone as she swiveled her chair so her back faced him. A pretty good indicator that the conversation was over.

John sighed and backed off. He could only hope they weren’t all making a huge mistake, and that Oliver was right that he really did know this girl.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so another chapter, and one I think a lot of you have been waiting for! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Laurel was just signing out of her desktop computer when her phone signaled an incoming message from her dating app. She opened it.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: Hey, I want to ask you something but I hope it doesn’t feel too abrupt _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: ok, what is it? _

 

She waited, watching the screen as he typed.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: I was wondering if we could break that two hundred stars rule and meet up _

 

Laurel blinked in shock. It had only been a few days since they’d agreed to that.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: what changed your mind? _

_ KingOfSurvival: I have this plus one to a wedding in a couple weeks and I guess it got me thinking _

_ KingOfSurvival: instead of telling myself I’ll only end up alone, I could realize I’m not _

_ KingOfSurvival: I have family, I have friends, and you _

 

Her heart did a funny little something at the sight of those words. He really considered her to be that important to him?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you want me to be your plus one? _

_ KingOfSurvival: only if you want. Either way, I want to meet you for real _

 

For once, it was hard to know what to write. He was asking her out despite everything they’d agreed on, and she wasn’t angry about that. But she also didn’t know if she could be happy about it.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I wish I could, but I’ve already RSVP’d to an event the same weekend _

 

There was the slightest pause.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: that’s ok _

_ KingOfSurvival: maybe another time _

 

Laurel bit her lip as she stared down those words. Another time. Agreeing to that would mean a promise. A promise of something she didn’t know if she could give.

She thought back to what she’d told Thea. To what Tommy had told her. How could she do that again to someone else, knowing what was still in her heart?

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I don’t think that’s a good idea _

_ KingOfSurvival: why not? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: because it wouldn’t be fair to you. I’m really not ready to commit to a new relationship. I don’t know if I’ll ever be _

 

There was a long pause. She wondered if that was just going to be it.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: is it because of your friend-ex _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: yeah _

 

She owed it to him to be honest at the least.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I know it’s stupid. I should’ve been over him years ago. And I did try. But that fell apart pretty quick _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: so I can’t begin a relationship when I know that about myself. It wouldn’t be fair to you _

_ KingOfSurvival: how long has it been since you tried getting over him? _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: about two years ago. We hadn’t been together for years before that, either. But I guess I gave him my heart and never got it back _

_ KingOfSurvival: I’m sorry _

 

Laurel shook her head.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I should be saying that _

_ KingOfSurvival: no, it’s good you were honest about how you feel. Guess I just wish things were different _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: me too _

 

Her fingers were shaking so badly it was a struggle to type even that short message.

 

_ KingOfSurvival: well, good luck _

_ JusticeIsAWoman: you too _

 

It was so inadequate. After everything they’d talked about and shared, that was all she could offer him? Why did her relationships with people always have to end this way? Laurel dropped the phone on her desk and placed her head in her hands.

Did it even count as the same? She’d never really known this guy, and yet all the same she felt like she’d just lost someone else so important in her life. All her fault, again. There really had to be something wrong with her.

—-

He set his phone aside and blew out a breath. A part of him knew he shouldn’t be surprised.

He’d known, hadn’t he? All this time they’d been talking, there had been that other man. Just as often as there had been Laurel. They were both haunted by the ghosts of an old love part of them still wanted back.

Every time he tried to move on from it, something went wrong. Oliver knew he should probably just give in, admit that he’d thrown away his chance at happiness instead of trying to drag other people into it. He hadn’t wanted things to end this way with his anonymous friend.

He hoped for her sake that ex of hers was worth it. Oliver almost wished he could somehow find out his identity so he could tell the other man a thing or two about not knowing what he had.

Oliver didn’t say anything to John about it in the run up to the wedding. For one thing, his friend was busy enough, and for another, he didn’t really want to get into it.

And though he cut it very close, he made it to the ceremony, and it went off without a hitch. He’d rarely seen John or Lyla happier. Oliver pushed aside any feelings of envy or longing for something like that. Tonight was their night, and he was just here to support them.

As Oliver stood alone to the side he noticed Laurel walking up to join him. She looked wonderful as always.

“Beautiful ceremony.”

“Beautiful dress.”

Her smile made the room all the brighter. “Thank you.”

He was such an idiot. Oliver pushed that thought down as well and cast about for something to say to keep the mood light.

“Did it come with the cast?”

“I’ve started fighting with a new trainer, and she’s very...enthusiastic,” Laurel eventually settled on.

“She?”

“She’s a friend. Tonight’s not about that.”

She was right and had somehow guessed at his own internal mantra for the evening. Tonight wasn’t about anyone other than the Diggles. He couldn’t stop himself reaching for her arm anyway, and he thought he saw her draw in a breath at the touch.

They weren’t alone for long, however. Felicity joined them and showed off the bouquet she’d caught, and Oliver wondered if she was aware of the implications. Palmer probably was.

“So, Oliver, I thought you were bringing a plus one,” Felicity remarked, not seeming to notice his look asking her to stop. “What happened?”

Laurel turned to him with surprise in her eyes. “You had a date?”

He grimaced. “Sort of. It- she had another commitment and couldn’t make it.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” she told him. That surprised look wasn’t going away. “I hadn’t realized you were, um, dating.”

“That’s because you haven’t met her. None of us have, even Oliver,” said Felicity with smirk. “I got him an online dating account, and believe me, I was just as shocked as you that he hit it off so well with somebody. The anonymity probably helped.”

Oliver looked down, feeling his cheeks burning and hoping they weren’t as red as he feared they had to be. “Felicity, I’d rather not get into it.”

“Well, aren’t we all going to meet her eventually anyway?” She asked.

“Probably not. She made it pretty clear she just considers me a friend, and there’s a guy in her real life she’s holding out hope for.”

Having spelled out his pitiful prospects for them, Oliver raised his head and met their gazes head on. Felicity looked as though she wanted to swallow her whole mouth if it would keep her from saying anything else, but Laurel didn’t look embarrassed for him or pitying like he might have expected. Instead, she was staring at him with something like horror.

“Laurel?”

Oliver reached out to touch her elbow, but she flinched back and gave a sharp shake of the head.

“Um, sorry. I- I just remembered I need to check on something. For work.”

She spun around and fled the hall, almost knocking into Thea on her way out.

“Well, that was weird,” Felicity said.

“Yeah.” Oliver found himself following Laurel with his eyes and then his feet, slowly at first but beginning to speed up as she slipped out the doors. 

Something was wrong. He didn’t know what yet, but he wasn’t willing to let it go without making sure she was okay.

Thea reached out and caught his arm as he made to pass her, however. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, but his sister’s grip wasn’t slackening. Oliver held back a frustrated noise; he probably should have told Thea about this a while ago, and it wasn’t likely she wouldn’t be hearing about it after this. “We were talking, and Felicity brought up how I’ve been online dating, which Laurel got weird about and left.”

Thea’s eyes had gone wide. “You’ve been online dating?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled to his shoes. “Sort of. It was anonymous and not that serious. I would’ve told you if—”

“No, Ollie,” Thea interrupted. “ _ Laurel’s  _ been online dating.”

He looked back up. “What? Since when?”

“She told me after the Lian Yu trip, cause I caught her texting and smiling at her phone.” Thea shrugged. “Joanna made her sign up a while ago.”

“And she’s been seeing someone?”

“No. She said they were just friends, and she didn’t even know his name or what he looked like.”

“Okay.” His mind was racing, unsure of what thought or emotion to settle on. “I’m just gonna check on her. If somebody asks, just—”

“Yeah.” Thea nodded. “You go ahead.”

He hurried around tables and people, eyes on the doorway through which Laurel had disappeared. She’d been talking to someone on a dating site, but just as a friend. It had been totally anonymous and not actually a relationship. Not unlike the situation Oliver was now very familiar with.

But Laurel couldn’t be thinking — it just  _ couldn’t  _ be possible.

He almost tripped over her sitting on the steps. Her good arm was propped on her knees and her forehead rested in her hand as she stared down at her phone. Oliver cleared his throat, and Laurel looked up.

“Please tell me you don’t get this.”

She pressed something on her phone, and there was absolute silence for a second that felt like a lifetime—

His phone chirped with a notification. Fingers numb and fumbling, Oliver retrieved it after a couple attempts and gulped as he read the message.

 

_ JusticeIsAWoman: I think we messed up _

 

Slowly, Oliver raised his eyes from his phone screen to meet hers. He didn’t think he could find the words, so he merely held his phone out with the screen displayed.

Laurel’s breath left her in one shaky exhale.

Oliver was stuck, his arm still outstretched in midair. He didn’t dare to move. With one message, his whole world had changed. Nothing was what he’d thought it was.

Laurel. It had been Laurel all along. Always. That voice he’d been trying to put to text — hers. That dry wit with a warmth underneath — hers. The feeling of talking to an old friend wasn’t luck, wasn’t fake — it was  _ her . _

It all made sense, horrible and wonderful sense all at once. How could it have ever been anyone else?

He was somewhere close to lightheaded, but he knew he had to try, to put something of what he was feeling to words. Oliver opened his mouth—

Both of their phones started beeping with an alert. And if his night hadn’t already taken a turn into the impossible, it had another surprise for him.

The news was claiming victims of the Arrow had turned up dead, and the police were beginning a manhunt.

He looked up again, meeting Laurel’s wide gaze. “The League.”

She nodded. “I’ll try to stop my father.”

“I’ll get the team together.”

They parted ways on the steps without another word, even as he could feel his mind still spinning at the revelation. Everything she had said on that app about her friend-ex — that had to have been him, right? He had been turned down because Laurel was still…?

But Oliver pushed it down. He needed to focus if he was going to stop Ra’s from ruining his life and this city. Only then would he have the chance to even process all of this.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody. So ultimately I have decided to go with the shorter ending. I'm sorry if that disappoints some people, and I'm not opposed to picking up this idea for some League-related shenanigans at some point down the line as some have suggested, but as it stands I'm just not going to have the time to devote to drafting a whole new section just yet, and I don't want to leave people hanging. I've just accepted an internship for the summer that starts next week as well as working on two summer courses, so I know it would be taking too much on. I already have enough trouble updating my other WIPs regularly as it is. So I hope you enjoy the resolution to this silly online dating idea I had, and thanks so much for reading it!

Quentin shouldn’t have been surprised Laurel would be the one sent to pay him a visit.

“You know this is a frame job,” she said, pacing back and forth. She was still in a dress from that wedding she’d been at, her clutch resting on his desk. “And just like Pike did all those years ago, you are misinforming the public to suit an agenda.”

“Alright, the difference between then and now is that then we had ready proof this Dark Archer was a different guy,” he pointed out. “These arrows turning up are the exact same as our vigilante friend.”

“Sarcastic as you’re being, he  _ is _ your friend. Sara’s death doesn’t change that. Alright? You can be mad at me for asking him not to tell you, but you know him suddenly switching back to killing makes no sense.” Laurel crossed her arms, as best as she could while wearing a cast over one, and added, “And why would the rest of us let him?”

“Good question. I should probably find that out.”

Using her distance to his advantage, he snagged the clutch off his desk.

“Hey!” She took a step forward but made no move to restrain or strike at him. Some things were still off limits between them, it seemed.

Quentin ignored her protest and left his office, heading up the stairs to the labs. He walked up to the first occupied desk he saw and slapped the cell down in front of the occupant.

“My daughter’s phone. I gotta know who she’s been in contact with, any suspicious activity.”

That got him a bewildered look. “From the ADA?”

“Just do it. Off the books.”

To his credit, the CSU Tech got to work, typing away while Quentin paced.

After a few minutes, he spoke. “She’s logged a lot of activity on a dating app.”

Quentin blinked. “Dating app?”

“Yeah. One of those anonymous ones. She’s been trading a lot of messages with one profile. Handle is  _ KingOfSurvival. _ ”

An anonymous app. Simple, but it made sense.

“Alright, good work.” He took the phone and clutch back down to his office where Laurel was waiting, her eyes only narrowing as he set the phone down on the desk between them.

“You went through my phone?”

“This how you’re communicating?”

“It’s how most people communicate, isn’t it?”

“You know what I mean. The Arrow.” He tapped the phone again. “You’ve been using an anonymous app to get in touch.”

Laurel made a face, and not the guilty kind. “What? No.”

“Then who’s this King of Survival?”

“I can’t believe you.” She snatched the phone off the table. “You had no right to go through my messages.”

“Come on, Laurel. You’re not gonna tell me you’ve been using this thing to date.”

“I was — it’s none of your business. But it was  _ not _ about the Arrow,” she insisted with a glare.

“Then why the app? Who’ve you been talking to? Who is this guy?”

“What has you so interested?” She fired back. “I thought we weren’t close anymore?”

“Damnit, Laurel! I- I care about you, you have to know that.” Even as he said it, he knew he’d done little to assure her of that over the years, and a part of him deflated. Angry as he had been that she had held onto the truth about Sara, was it worth her not knowing how he felt?

He glanced back down at the phone again and frowned. “And I definitely care if you’re on one of these apps talking to complete strangers. You have any idea how dangerous these things are?” 

“Dad—”

“Could be anybody on the other end,” he carried right on. “A scammer, a violent criminal—”

“It’s Oliver!” She burst out, then continued on a sharp laugh, “Okay? Because it always is! I’m always just so  _ stupid. _ ”

Quentin wondered if he’d somehow missed a part of their conversation. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how Joanna set me up with that app so I could meet people and try to get over my seriously bad choices, except  _ Oliver _ was also on the same app and of all the people in Starling City with which I could have connected with, I ended up talking to him,” his daughter said. “And I’m talking about how he invited me to be his date to, as it turns out, John and Lyla’s wedding, but I turned him down because I still didn’t think I was ready to get over my ex — who is also Oliver — and now he knows  _ everything _ .”

Quentin wasn’t the Captain for nothing, but it was taking everything he had to make sense of this. “You got an app to try dating strangers, but instead of a stranger you met Queen on here instead?”

She gave a helpless shrug. “Pretty much.”

“Well- well what was he doing on here?”

“Apparently Felicity made him join. I don’t know,” she groaned, dropping into his chair. “It wasn’t like we were actually dating. Just talking and giving advice...about me. I was talking him through how to deal with me. Great,” she muttered through clenched teeth. “Maybe I should thank you for saving me from the most mortifying night of my life.”

Right, the case. The thing they should be talking about. The thing Laurel was so sure he was wrong about — because she knew, didn’t she?

Quentin felt a strange calm wash over him as everything was made clear.

“He’s the Arrow, isn’t he? Queen.”

She looked up, eyes wide. “Why would you think—”

“Because it’s always him.”

It was always Laurel, actually. She should have been all the evidence he ever needed.

His daughter shook her head. “I didn’t mean that.”

“Yeah, you did.” And if she did, that meant something, too. For however much she loved that idiot, she’d never lie for him about this.

Quentin braced his hands on the desk and leaned forward. “Laurel, give me the proof he’s not the one out there killing these people. Show me I’m wrong.”

Laurel held his gaze for a long moment. Watching him, judging him maybe. At last, she said, “He was at John and Lyla’s wedding tonight. Plenty of witnesses. He couldn’t have done this, whether he’s the Arrow or not.”

“And he is, so there’s more going on here,” Quentin finished. “Never can be the simple answers.”

“I know that there are people dead, but we need time. He already has a good idea of who’s doing this and why. It’s the League.”

“Sara’s League?”

Laurel nodded. “I should have told you everything. I’m sorry, daddy.” Her eyes looked a little wet, but she wasn’t crying. Still, Quentin felt an ache in his chest that had little to do with his health.

He walked around the desk. “Whatever he’s planning to do, it’s gonna need to be quick. We can’t have this going on.” Then he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay? This app stuff, Queen, you seem a little rattled.”

“I’ll be fine,” she promised. “We have things to do.”

“Yeah, but after?”

An officer knocked and then stuck his head in the doorway. “Captain, Ray Palmer is here saying he has evidence of the Arrow’s identity. He wants to press charges against Oliver Queen.”

Laurel’s head hung down as she sighed, and Quentin grimaced. “You wanna take this one?”

“Yeah, put him in interrogation. Do not give a statement to the press.” His daughter marched to the door, ready yet again to defend Oliver Queen’s lack of innocence.

Quentin didn’t know what to make of half of tonight’s revelations — the online dating thing most of all — but he sure hoped Queen appreciated just how much she was willing to do for him.

—-

In the end, it was Ray Palmer’s tech that saved them.

Laurel had to stay on the sidelines thanks to her injury as Oliver walked Ray through fighting a metahuman that had popped up in the middle of all this. It was better, really, that she was out of the way. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle fighting with him out in the field at the moment, even if he was just a voice in the ear.

Ray returned to their base after flying Deathbolt to Central City. He was going someplace the others called a pipeline, which Laurel had some misgivings about, but for now it had to be low on the priority list.

Felicity greeted her boyfriend with a congratulatory kiss for his first official try at being a vigilante. “You were great.”

“Well, thanks to Oliver, I was. I’m glad I didn’t end up getting my day in court after all.”

“The public is still looking for you to catch the Arrow,” Oliver reminded him.

“I know. But I’m prepared to go to the mayor myself and explain I was mistaken. The Arrow is not our enemy.”

“But someone pretending to be him is,” Laurel said, mostly to herself, but the others all turned. Oliver’s look seemed particularly intense. Laurel stepped forward. “We need proof of that to take to the mayor, not just our word.” Ray couldn’t rely on a preexisting relationship like she could with her father. And just like he’d used the proof of her chat conversations with Oliver, they needed something concrete as well.

“What kind of proof are you talking about, Laurel?” Oliver asked.

She kept her eyes on Ray. “What about your facial recognition software?”

“I thought you said it wouldn’t stand up in court?”

Laurel waved a hand. “I said that to keep Oliver out of jail.” At Oliver’s look in her direction, she ducked her head slightly. “And we’re not talking about court, we’re talking about public opinion. So do you think you could pick up one of the fakes on it?”

“We would need it to match to someone actually on file,” Felicity informed her. “Considering the League recruits all kinds of people from all over the world—”

“They do have somebody,” Oliver interrupted. “Maseo Yamashiro. He worked with ARGUS in Hong Kong. The CIA would have him on file.”

“So my facial recognition software could pick him up,” Ray concluded. An excited smile lit his face. “Alright, I’ll do a sweep of the city right now! And stop him from murdering anyone, of course.”

“Don’t engage the League, Ray,” Oliver cautioned him. “Even with my help, it would be a near thing.”

Ray’s enthusiasm dipped only slightly, but soon he was putting his gear back on and leaving the base.

“God, I hope this works,” Laurel muttered under her breath. She felt Oliver’s hand brush her arm and jumped. He looked away and walked back over to the station where the connection with Ray was set up, in case he was needed. Laurel looked down.

A silence filled the base. As was common, Felicity broke it.

“Is everything okay? I mean, obviously, not everything is okay right now, but we have a plan for the major thing. I meant the earlier thing.”

“What earlier thing?” Laurel asked.

“Well, you kind of ran out of the reception, and then Oliver followed you,” Felicity explained. “And we’ve been pretty busy since, but nobody’s really said what that was about.”

She looked between the two of them, expectant. Oliver was devoting an intense amount of study to the tech on the table in front of him, and Laurel dropped her gaze to the floor.

“It was nothing, really.”

“Okay.” It was fairly obvious her friend didn’t believe her. “Just, things got weird after I brought up Oliver’s online dating, and if there’s a problem, I’d prefer—”

“There’s no problem,” said Oliver, tense. Laurel couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at anyone.

The door to the Verdant opened and Thea came down the steps. “Ollie, I’ve been texting you all night. Did you figure out if Laurel — oh.” She stopped and gave an awkward laugh. “Hey, Laurel, how’s, um, things?”

“Things? What things? What was he supposed to be figuring out?” Felicity was speaking in near rapid fire now. “Why does everyone know what we’re talking about except me?”

This was unbearable. “We were on the same dating app,” Laurel said, then pressed her lips together.

“You were both on the same app? Well, how did you know — oh no!” Felicity was gaping in horror. “I mean, not,  _ no _ , you know, just — what are the odds of that? I guess not astronomical considering your similar lifestyles likely contributing to your profile answers and since the app takes proximity into account, and you two are, you know, close — proximity-wise. I- I did not intend for this to happen.”

“ _ Felicity, I have a visual! _ ”

“Who? What? Oh!” It took a couple panicked turns back and forth for Felicity to grab up the comm to respond to Ray. “I’ll run it against ARGUS and see if you caught Maseo.”

“Good.” Oliver still had his focus on the table. Thea was watching her with open sympathy. Pity, even.

Because of course this was more embarrassing for her than him. Oliver had had plenty of relationships or attempts at them since he left her after the Undertaking. What did Laurel have? Nothing, and as soon as she tried, guess who had turned up? And even then, she’d turned him down  _ for _ him, which was undeniably pathetic. She couldn’t even be angry at him, because it was her choices and her feelings that had gotten her into this mess.

Abruptly, Laurel turned and made for the steps. “Let me know if you need anything.”

It wasn’t as though she could fight. And John and Lyla would be more useful once they returned from their honeymoon for making a deal with the CIA. She was just useless, as per usual.

She’d already lost her online friend by declining his invitation to meet up, yet somehow she felt even worse now knowing he was never real in the way she’d thought. All those confessions she’d made...how could things possibly go on between her and Oliver when he knew the truth?

—-

Oliver winced as the door shut behind Laurel. She wasn’t happy. Truthfully, he still didn’t know where he landed on the issue.

He had thought he was taking the steps to move on properly this time, even if it hadn’t worked out. But if anything, it turned out he’d gone in the complete opposite direction. And despite what she had claimed about him on the app, Laurel seemed more miserable after finding out the truth than anything. So where did that leave things?

“I’ve sent the match to the CIA to confirm, and Ray tipped off the mayor’s office that an attack was heading their way. Can we say power couple?” Felicity’s enthusiasm was only partially forced; it was clear she was trying to tough it out through the awkwardness.

When he didn’t acknowledge her question, she slumped a little. “Oliver, I’m sorry. I swear I had no idea Laurel was on that app.”

“And I had no idea you were,” Thea added to him. “What exactly just happened there? Because it sounded like—”

“I was the guy that Laurel was talking to,” he confirmed. “Not that either of us knew that.”

“He also asked her out, which she said no to,” Felicity said. “Something about another guy.”

“Who is you.” His sister didn’t even ask, just stated it as fact.

And sure, Laurel had never used his name, but… “Yeah.”

“Oh.” Felicity blinked. “Well that simplifies things, doesn’t it?”

He gestured to the stairs up which Laurel had disappeared. “That didn’t look simple to me.”

Thea scoffed. “Just look at it from her point of view for a second, will you? She’s gotta be, like, super embarrassed.”

“Mortified, even,” Felicity agreed with a nod.

“Look at it this way,” Thea continued before he could even open his mouth. “She’s just found out that she confessed her feelings for you  _ to _ you, and that you asked out another woman at the same time.”

“But I was asking her out!”

Felicity pointed at him accusingly. “Ah, but you didn’t  _ know _ it was her when you did.”

“But I should have,” he realized. Oliver took out his phone and scrolled back through the messages. Laurel was in every one of them; her heart and voice and soul could be felt in every line when he really looked.

Maybe that was why he’d fallen.

He was in love with Laurel, that much was clear. Whether he knew it was her or not, he always ended up in the same place. Home. And judging by what she had written, he just might still have a welcome there.

But he frowned as he looked back at the computers. “The League is still out there.”

“We’re still waiting on a response from the CIA,” Felicity said. “I can send you any updates.”

As much as the leader in him wanted to remain at the base, he could recognize that times like these were exactly what a team was for. “Thank you.” Oliver reached for his jacket and pulled it on, then paused before leaving. “Really, thank you.”

If Felicity hadn’t been so determined to get him trying to see other people, none of this would have come about. He would have never known.

She shrugged. “This was not at all the plan, but I should have figured it’d end up this way. Try not to screw it up this time.”

“Right, go, go, go!” Thea only barely held back from physically ushering him to the door.

Oliver got on his bike and made the relatively short drive, finding himself like so many times in front of Laurel’s apartment door. Was this really happening? A part of him was still reeling.

He knocked, and it was several long minutes before the door was pulled open. Laurel had already changed into what looked to be her sleepwear underneath a bathrobe, and her expression was less than enthusiastic.

“Please tell me you didn’t come here to check on me.”

“Not entirely. Can I come in?”

Wordlessly, she stepped back and let him through. Oliver stood in her front hall, looking over her dejected appearance. “Are you okay?”

Something not really a laugh bubbled out of her. “I don’t know. There are things that I wrote, things that I told you on that app, that I never meant for you to know. And now it’s just out there.”

He could understand that. Some of the day to day frustrations and even his sense of doubt about the mission, those weren’t things he would be all that comfortable with anyone knowing with context. Laurel was one of a very few in that regard. Most of the profile questions and answers she was already aware of by virtue of knowing him so long, but it did bring one of their earliest conversations to mind.

“You, um, you came out as—”

“As bisexual, yeah,” she confirmed in a low voice, her eyes anywhere but on him.

“If that’s how you feel, I’m not gonna judge you for that. None of us would.”

“But you’re probably wondering if this is something new or me trying to be Sara.”

Oliver said nothing. He couldn’t deny that a part of him wondered. That was probably wrong.

“If anything, her coming out made me more comfortable seeing myself that way. I mean, on some level I knew I’d thought of women as attractive before — but usually I was already dating or not really in the right place to be dating. I never really knew until last year how my father and everyone would react so…” she trailed off with a shrug.

“And then when Sara did come out you were worried people would think you were copying her,” Oliver finished for her.

Laurel nodded with a grimace. “People figure there can only be one per family. And I didn’t exactly see myself dating ever again, so there didn’t seem to be much point talking about it.”

Her good arm was folded over her chest and gripping her shoulder. She was making herself smaller, he realized.

He wasn’t sure exactly what his thoughts were on the matter. He had always assumed he knew everything there was to know about Laurel — but then again, this didn’t change who she was as a person anymore than the color she chose to dye her hair did.

“I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t talk about it, and that I found out without your permission. I think — no, I’m sure Sara would have been happy to know.”

Her lips curved up in a smile that still conveyed a sort of sadness. It was the eyes. Laurel could never hide how she was really feeling with them. “Thank you.”

But it wasn’t just her own feelings she was talking about not wanting him to know. Something that she’d written was standing out now in particular. “You weren’t sure if I hated you or not.” He remembered her venting to his online persona, that she wished her friend and ex would just make up his mind one way or another.

“I don’t really believe you hate me,” Laurel said immediately.

“But I haven’t made it easy to maintain that belief.” He was so stupid. In his mind, it was so clear how he felt about Laurel, but whenever he tried to put it into words or actions, it always went awry. Except on that app. There, anonymously, he had been clear.

Oliver took out his phone and glanced down at it. “I think we needed this.”

Laurel raised an eyebrow. “We needed to lie and keep more secrets from each other?”

“Neither of us was intentionally lying,” he pointed out. “But what I mean is that this, it gave us a clean slate. A way to talk to each other without everything else getting in the way for once. I didn’t know how badly I needed that.”

He’d missed it, too. Talking to Laurel, just being open and honest. Since getting the app, he’d been making strides to do that in person thanks to her own advice, and in a way it had worked the same in reverse.

“And now that everything is back in the way?” She glanced up at him. “You said you needed to move on, Oliver.”

“Because I thought that was best. I couldn’t even imagine you might still have feelings for me after everything,” he admitted. “And my attempt to move on was to ask you out, so I think that says something.”

“It says I did a really good job at hiding the worst parts of myself.” Laurel turned and retreated further into her apartment.

But Oliver couldn’t leave things there. He wasn’t giving up this time. “You were yourself. And you’re more than the worst parts of you, Laurel. If you believe there’s any good qualities to me, then you have to know that’s true.”

She stopped, and he walked up to her.

“I took a chance and opened myself up to a stranger. Not because she was a stranger, but because she felt familiar. She felt like a friend who cared for me and helped me to be better. And I couldn’t believe that I could have found that in another person that wasn’t you.” He allowed himself the smallest smile as Laurel watched him. “Maybe a part of me knew it from the start.”

Laurel’s eyes were shining as she said with a hitch to her breath, “I didn’t let myself even dream it was you.”

“I know.” He reached out slowly and cupped her face with both hands. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, warm and open. It was more like breathing each other in than kissing, relishing the little touches they’d denied themselves for so long.

Laurel’s eyes were closed as he nuzzled at her cheek, and her uninjured arm had wrapped around his back. “I’ve missed you. I missed talking to you the last few days.”

“You mean online?”

She nodded. “Mm-hm. I’m so glad I didn’t break some poor guy’s heart.”

Oliver muffled a laugh against her neck. “That makes two of us.”

His phone buzzed, breaking the moment. Oliver checked it and found a text from Felicity.

_ ARGUS said thanks for the tip and that they’re handling it. Going home with Ray. _

“What’s up?”

His eyes left the screen. “Your idea to get ARGUS involved paid off. The Arrow’s off the hook.” The last bits of worry and tension eased as he said the words aloud.

Laurel let out a breath and smiled. “That’s great.”

“Yeah.” He made to put his phone away but stopped and got it out again.

“What are you doing?”

“Turning this off.” He grinned up at her. “We don’t need it anymore.”

He drew her back in towards his chest as she giggled, though those faded away as he renewed his attempts to re-familiarize himself with her mouth. Oliver couldn’t think of the last time he’d felt this carefree and happy, but the memories that immediately came to mind had this same woman in common. His oldest friend; his online friend; the woman he loved. Dinah Laurel Lance was all that and more.

He was so lucky.


End file.
